Innocent Sorrow: A Tale of Twisted Hearts Book One

Chapter Twenty Four

Feli looked out over the battlefield from her place at the top of the left hand ridge. Warm spring rain dripped from her hair and caused her to shiver as it trailed down the open back of her shirt. Despite the weather, the men below her struggled to dig graves for every single soldier who had died while also carrying back the wounded. It was a sad scene as bodies were cleared away and the sounds of the mortally wounded competed with the rolling thunder for saddest tune. She heaved a sigh and continued to watch. This was her way of coping, by forcing herself to watch the results of her decisions. Men had died because of her orders and yet even more had and would be, saved. She was conflicted and it showed in her slumped shoulders. Tiredly, her hands rubbed over her lower arms where strange black flames danced where the Fire Spirit had entered her flesh yet she didn’t even have the energy to be intrigued by the marks.

“Feli…” the name rolled off of Alexei’s tongue easily and his hushed steps brought him up to her. He stayed behind Feli, watching her drenched form as he waited for the Princess to acknowledge him. “What was the end count?” her voice was filled with authority but he could tell she was tired of it all. Still, he recited the numbers she had asked him to gather. “Nyek took losses numbering over one thousand at this battle but with unknown losses at the river. They have lost at least a sixth of the forces gathered in Beldan. We don’t know how many were injured. Reicks took damages totaling one thousand, six hundred and thirty two. Over a third of their troops were killed in action while another three hundred are injured and seventy two are unaccounted for. Among the unaccounted, General Triani is also missing. Beldan lost twelve horses but only eight riders. Another sixteen horses were injured but none were severe enough to have to be put down, and nineteen men were injured. Of those nineteen, seven may not survive their injuries. As for the matter of Lieutenant Luka, despite heavy loss of blood, the spear missed all major organs. It is reasonable to expect him to survive as long as the injury stays clean and infection free.” Feli nodded slowly as she ran over those numbers in her head. Alexei watched her for a moment more before reaching forward, his eyes glued to the pale expanse of her back that had been revealed by the wings that burned open the back of her shirt. Running from her hairline, down her back and disappearing into her pants, a trail of black flame that matched those on her arms, stood out against her skin. She didn’t even know this mark existed but it fascinated him none the less. With two fingers, he touched her nape and started to trail his fingers down slowly, following the trail of a single bead of water. The way her shoulders twitched and she jerked slightly at his touch amused him and he made no move to stop but despite his strange actions, his thoughts were elsewhere.

“Do you hate me, Feli?” the words were soft and he wondered if she could hear him over the sound of thunder and rain but, from the way her head jerked up, he was certain she heard his question. “Do you hate me for everything I have put you through, for everything I have forced you to see and do?” He looked down, his rain soaked hair falling into his face and sticking to his forehead. She had been asked this question before but he had to ask her with his own words, he had to discover her true feelings for himself. If not, he would never be able to rest. “I would deserve it…I am a pitiable man who knew well what awakening you would cause and welcomed it with open arms. I brought war to this peaceful land simply to satisfy my own selfish desires so I ask you again, Feli. Do you hate me?”

For a long while, the midnight haired Princess remained silent; she made no movements nor showed any reaction to his words. It was as though she hadn’t even heard him. Alexei was content to wait for her as he followed that line of flame up and down with his fingers, stroking the soft flesh that intrigued him and announced to the world her new status as a creature of Fire. Finally, she spoke with a voice that mirrored his previous softness but unlike his, it wasn’t filled with self-loathing. “Can you do something for me?” He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Of course.” he could practically hear her smile when she responded. “Close your eyes and don’t open them until I am done.” Alexei’s hand halted its repetitive action and pulled back as he stiffened. Despite his trepidation, the Ice Spirit closed his eyes and awaited his punishment. He would let her do whatever she would for he deserved it…he deserved her anger and her hatred. Alexei firmly believed this. What he wasn’t expecting was for Feliciana to tackle him to the ground, her arms locked firmly around his waist as she brought him to the ground. Being quick to react, Alexei put his hands out behind him and fell into a slightly reclined sitting position. Feli quickly arranged herself between his long legs and held herself to him with trembling arms. Opening his eyes slowly, Alexei stared down at the girl who clung to his much larger frame and was surprised to see her body wracked with silent sobs. Using his arms to push into a better position, he crossed his legs and maneuvered her so she was sitting on Alexei’s left thigh while his arms wrapped around her loosely. One hand trailed along her back once more while the other carded through her wet, inky hair.

“Why do you cry?” he couldn’t understand why she would shed tears. Alexei had expected yelling, anger. He had expected her to hit him and blame him and he even expected her to cry out of frustration but to cling to him and cry like this, he couldn’t understand it. Or maybe he just didn’t want to understand it. It took her a while to answer and her words were filled with hiccups and sobs but Alexei listened to each one carefully. “Because…you can’t. Because you won’t cry…for yourself…” she broke off as she sobbed harder but fought to finish her sentence. “Because you have been hurt to the point that you don’t even know how to cry so I’ll cry for you…I’ll cry so that you don’t have too!” Her hands fisted in the front of his shirt and she curled tighter against him as tears and rain mixed on her face. Alexei watched Feli as she cried for him, her words ringing in his ears as the first trembles of laughter shuddered through his body. For a moment, Feli believed he was laughing at her but as his laughs grew louder and higher in pitch, she realized it wasn’t at her…it was at himself. The hysterical edge to his voice, the broken quality of the laughs… It was as though, if he didn’t laugh, he really would break completely. This thought only made her tears come quicker and, as his grip tightened on her, she cried long and hard for him until her eyes grew sore and her throat scratchy. His laughter died down after a while, as did her sobs but they continued to sit there, in the mud and rain, for a long while. The silence that flowed between them was broken only by the occasional hiccup as her wails dissipated and were replaced with silent tears that leaked down her cheeks to mix with the rain as it dripped from her angular chin and soaked into his shirt.

Eventually, as though trying to sooth her, Alexei took up humming just as he had when they crossed the battlefield together. It was such a gentle sound, so different from his earlier pained laughter. “What a nostalgic sound…” Feli’s whisper gave him pause and his arms tightened around her but he stopped his humming and answered the unspoken question that hung between them. “It’s from an old song…one that was created long before this land split into separate countries.” Feli nodded against his chest and closed her eyes tiredly. The tears had taken the last of her energy and, with all that had happened, she could barely remain conscious. “You’re tired, sleep Feli, I won’t leave you yet.” His words were warm as the rumbled through his chest, offering her comfort so that she might finally rest. She, in turn, mumbled into his sopping shirt quietly, drowsily. “Yet…don’t leave yet, I’ll be sad.” It was childish and selfish and so out of character but she was so tired and the thought of waking up alone as she had when he returned her powers frightened her. Alexei didn’t have time to respond as her breathing mellowed out and her body went limp against his own. With the rain pelting down and the thunder rolling over head, Alexei tipped his head back and stared at the grey sky with disdain. With one hand cupping her head so he didn’t rattle her, he leaned forward to shield her somewhat from the falling water and spoke softly to those vicious clouds.