Untitled [COMPLETE]

Untitled Chapter 8

I'm scared. This is scary. Love. I never thought I could ever say 'I love you' to someone and mean it. Someone other than my mom. As Alexander sleeps after an intense blowjob I can't help but think. What's going to happen if he tells me he loves me? Knowing him he'd drag me to the alter and then before I know it I'm pregnant with our fifth child.

I don't want to be pregnant five times!

Definitely twice, possibly three.

I get out of his bed and make my way downstairs. The fact I know Alexander's house like the back of my hand brings a wave of fear to me. I really do love him. But isn't it too early to claim to love someone? My parents didn't say the 'L' word until they dated for five years. I don't think I can wait five years. By then I'll basically be thirty with zero kids.

Taking the glass of water I just poured I press it against my forehead. All this worrying is giving me a headache. Maybe I should pay his mother a visit. The only problem: Alexander is always with me. I'm not complaining, obviously I love him, but that obstacle is going to be tough to jump over. And I will never lie to him. I don't lie to anyone.

No matter the situation.

"Baby come back to bed," the raspy voice of Alexander says. He sleepily waves me over to him. I giggle as he swoops me off of my feet. "Why'd you leave?"

"Can't a girl get thirsty? And I just needed to think." That catches his attention.

"Think?" He asks softly. "What about?"

"Us." He cringes at the word. Everyone knows when a woman has to think about the relationship she isn't happy. But right now it's the complete opposite. I'm so happy I don't know if I'm the right woman for him anymore.

"Why?" His voice is sad, like I've just told him his mother died. "Aren't I making you happy? I thought we were fine. Last week when you were on your period I had never seen you happier to see me. Please tell me why you're thinking about us."

"It's not bad," I say, cupping his face so we can look at each other. "It's just I'm not feeling the best about myself right now, baby. Nothing to do with how you're treating me."

He nods, letting the sleep take him over again. "I love you, Princess."

➖✖➖

Maybe he was so tired he had no idea what he said. I wake up to an empty bed. A frown graces my face. Alexander never leaves the bed before me unless it's for work. But he's never invited me over when he knew he had to be in extra early.

The bedroom door opens to him with a tray. He sets the tray on the bed and scoots back under the blanket. Eggs, bacon, toast, strawberry jam, orange juice. A confused smile replaces the frown.

"What's this for?" I ask. He leans over the food to give me a kiss.

"It's a happy three month anniversary gift." My eyes close for a second. Three months and I already have feeling like this. I must have gone soft.

"Thank you," I croak, trying to swallow my tears. We separate the food so both of us get the maximum amount we can. We eat in silence. It's like everything I've never told him is bubbling and about to spill over. "My mom is addicted to meth."

The crash of his plate on the floor tells me to continue. "She's been addicted her entire life. Her and my father used to do whatever you do with meth together. Until he died one morning; he overdosed. My mother was devastated, so she began to use more often. My sister and I grew up watching our mother kill herself. With our age difference of six years it was always hard for us to connect. When she was in kindergarten I was in fourth grade, I didn't want to play with a baby. As we grew up we got into different things, and suddenly it became a competition. A competition to see who can be better at life than our dead beat mom. And when I met Damien, the one from the park, it was like a light was brought into my life. He has a normal family with two parents, two siblings, and a dog. I loved him with all of my heart for five years. That is until my sister calls me one day, screaming about how my boyfriend impregnated her. Of course, I called her a lying whore. That is until Damien came to the apartment to confess his affair with the newly turned eighteen year old. He broke up with me because he and my sister were going to elope." I stop talking to wipe away some of the tears falling rapidly down my face.

Alexander pushes the tray aside to pull me into his lap. "She won. All she's wanted her entire life was to break me into enough pieces that I couldn't be put together again. And she did it. Something in me is broken."

My chin is pushed up so I can look at him in the eye. "I don't care that you're broken. I will spend the rest of my life putting the little pieces back together. Because I love you." I blink up at him.

"I love you too," I confess with a sob. "But I can never be enough for you. All I am is a good looking, computer designer with a ton of baggage on her back."

"Let me carry some baggage then. Let me hug you so tight the pieces fall back into place. I love you with everything in me. And when we get married and have little babies running around you'll see that I mean it."

"I love you so much." My arms wind around his neck. "Please never leave me. I promise to make you as happy as I can, Alexander." He hugs me back almost furiously.

"Never," he growls. "I will never leave you like that pussy, Damien. First thing tomorrow we go see my mother and maybe we can get your mom some help." I look back at him.

"Really? I could never repay you."

"Give me children." I blink a few times at his demand. "I mean it Rocky. We can get married as soon as possible, we can have children and just be together forever."

"I don't want to elope, Alexander. I want an actual wedding and everything." He grins at me. He pushes me back slightly so he and I can really face each other. He grabs both of my hands. My heart beats a tattoo onto my chest. What is he doing?

He slips the promise ring off if my right hand and slips it into my left. I look up at him, confused. He just grins.

"There, now we're engaged."

I giggle and fly into his arms. I pepper kisses all over his face. He flips us over so his body is hovering over mine. Our bodies crash like a tsunami against a beach shore. Our skin rubbing together creates a symphony of the love we have for each other.

Back arching, pant raising, orgasmic music.

Hello Songbirds! How was it?? I thought this chappie was kind cute. I really liked it((: IT'S ALMOST DONE AHHH

QoTC: What's your favorite outfit in the book so far?