Sorceress

Chapter 3

For two days I slept. I awoke to find my mother sitting by my bed. Seeing my eyes open she grabbed my hand and pressed it to her cheek. I tried to speak, opening my mouth to tell her everything. No sound came forth. The words dried up in my throat. Opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water, tears ran down my cheeks. My voice was gone. Mother, seeing my distress pulled me forwards into her arms and sat rocking me back and forth.

I became like a feral animal after that day. With no voice I became invisible. I was able to sneak around the palace and listen to conversations without anyone paying me any attention. If someone did notice me, it was with a look of pity. I was considered to be the mute step daughter of the King, and since I could not talk, it was assumed I could not hear or think. I found out Merlin had left the evening of my binding and had taken Arthur with him, to be kept safe and learn how to be a King. A prophecy had been made, and the King and Merlin decided that Arthur must be taken into hiding for his own best interests. Having little contact with my brother, his leaving made no difference to me. I was filled with so much hate and anger for those who had stolen from me. I vowed revenge.

I would not let anyone near me, biting and scratching those that came too close, even my mother and sisters. Mother thought that if she gave me the space I needed, I would eventually return to normal. She would slip amulets around my neck as I slept, and I would rip them off in the morning and bury them outside on the palace grounds. My hair became tangled and matted, and I was constantly dirty from a lack of washing. During the day I would wander the palace forest, discovering its woody secrets. I would watch the squirrels play high in the trees, and listen to the birds sing. It was the only place that could bring me any peace. When I got hungry I would return to the palace kitchen and steal any food the cook conveniently left out. The nights I could not sleep I would wander the hallways, slipping in and out of the shadows. I stayed far away from the secret room. I could not bear to be near it.

In late summer, I was awoken by two servants grabbing me from my bed. In my grogginess I was slow the react. As my head cleared, I began to struggle against them, kicking and flailing my arms around trying to get free. One of my flailing legs managed to make contact with one of the servant's groin, and he grunted in pain, letting go of my right arm. Turning I lashed out at the other servant, trying to rake my nails down his face, but he was too quick. Dodging my hand, he quickly pinned my left arm behind my back and pushed me against the wall as gently as he could. He leaned his head forward, speaking quietly, "It's ok missy," he said. "We're just gonna get ye in the bath."

In response I flung my head back, hearing the satisfying thwack as the back of my head made contact with his nose. Dropping my arm, he stepped back swearing and holding his nose. Seeing my chance, I ran for the door. Looking behind me quickly I didn't see the hulking body of the King step forward until I had run right into him. He grabbed both my arms roughly and gave me a shake. For the first time in months, I found my voice. I let loose a blood curdling scream. I screamed and screamed as he shook me trying to silence my screams.

Through my bawling I heard the familiar footsteps of my mother. She was running down the hall wearing only her sleeping gown, her long hair braided back.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked as she raced towards my screams.

Pushing the King back and snatching me from him, my mother scooped me up into her arms, holding me tightly.

'What have you done?" She whispered glaring at the King. "What have you done to my child?" She repeated, her voice getting louder. My screams had subsided to a wail against her shoulder. King Uther backed away from us, looking slightly pale.

"I've done nothing," he said gruffly turning away. "I can't have your brat running around this palace looking like a dirty peasant. I've allowed this behaviour to go on for long enough. She must be sent away, somewhere she can learn some manners and decorum. She can go to St. Anne's House of God."

My mother looked up horrified. "Send her away? To St.Anne's? So that they can whip the life out of her? I have never retained the illusion that you were a loving man, but to hear you suggest sending my daughter to that hell only shows the hateful man you really are." My mother's scathing tone caught the King of guard, and he looked away shamefaced. Recovering himself, the King turned to leave the room. "Send her then to a place of your choosing. As long as she's gone within the week," he muttered over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Don't worry my darling," mother whispered into my hair. "I know a place. You will be safe and loved." She held me close for a long time, rocking me in her arms until I fell asleep.

The place my mother had chosen to send me to was a three day ride, and up the river by boat. My mother was only allowed to accompany me to the ship, and the King did not bother to say goodbye. In the days leading up to my departure, Uther had made sure to stay as far away from me as possible. The shame of his actions and my mother's accusations were enough to make him keep his distance.

I had barely any luggage to bring with me as my clothing would be provided to me as part of the uniformity of the nunnery I was being sent to. On the dock, my mother pulled me close to her and kissed me on both cheeks. From her pocket she pulled a gold chain with a white crystal out of her pocket. She fastened the necklace around my neck. It was beautiful. "I pass this on to you my sweet daughter," she whispered into my ear. "May it keep you safe and help you find your true self."

She stayed standing on the dock, watching as the ship pulled out. As the wind caught the sails, I could see her lips moving as she whispered into the wind. I watched her from the deck, gripping the railings as I moved farther and farther away until she was only a speck on the horizon.