A Place to Belong

Chapter 28: Second Thoughts

Kili stumbled over himself in an attempt to keep up with Braerka. She stormed ahead of him roughly brushing aside low branches as she moved deeper into the nearby woods. At the mere mention of the prophecy she had turned tail and fled, unwilling to hear or rather not wanting at all to know. She stopped suddenly and he slowed. Fili who had been lagging behind stumbled into him not noticing his sudden decrease in pace.

Braerka had stopped just below a break in the canopy, a powerful light beamed down on her as she stood seemingly oblivious to everything including his gentle calls. Kili knew what this silence meant, she was thinking. But as much as he would like to have given her all the time she needed to think, he couldn't. Orcs and elves and Aule knows what could still be tracking them and the last thing he wanted was for anyone, and especially Braerka, to get hurt.

"What is she doing?!" Fili whispered harshly into his ear. Kili hushed him just as harshly and told him to shut up.

Kili speedily thought over everything he had learned in the elven palace and recited what he could recall of the prophecy twice in the short time it took him to arrive at Braerka's side. Was she right to avoid knowing? Did she already know and not want to hear it again? Kili could only guess at what was going on in her head, of all the women he'd ever meet not one had ever been as secretive, cunning or as intricate as Braerka, not to mention her skills with a blade among other things. Kili counted himself blessed to be in such a woman's favour and for her to have chosen him over his brother.

Brushing the trivial thoughts aside, and moving closer to her, he saw she had her eyes closed, her head bowed and that she was twiddling her thumbs swiftly and belligerently. Kili hated to see her like this, he wished she would just tell people what she felt instead of running from it or burying it, it would make things much easier for them all, but then that would remove the enigma that is Braerka. It would also be a lot easier said than ever actually done.

When Kili could no longer stand watching her silently suffer at the hands of her own thoughts he, as gently as he could, took her hands in his. Startled she at first pulled away but as she realised it was Kili she returned the motion more than willingly, and embraced him aggressively as though she'd not seen him in a lifetime.

"You love me right?" She asked, stilling hugging him tightly and fisting clumps of his still damp hair.

"Yes... of course I do!" He exclaimed at a whispered, 'why is she even asking?' He thought.

He felt her sigh, a long deep heavy breath. He held her tighter, closer, he had a feeling he was going to lose her and sooner rather than later. A low humming in the back of his skull sang it to him. Although not in any known language, at least to him, he could tell it wasn't good.

Braerka suddenly pulled away, her eyes glued to her feet, he held even tighter to her hands. She seemed melancholy and regretful. Kili couldn't bear to see her like this but he should expect it, her moods swing were as common as the sunrise and sunset.

"Don't... Don't tell me what you know. Please." She asked of him. The tone in which she spoke was unfamiliar to him, was this desperation? Fear? Never before had Kili heard a more distressing noise come from her, it even trumped her pained cries.

"But-" he started.

"Please, Kili, the last thing I need is anymore riddles! I'm having trouble enough understanding what I've already got!" She told him. Her pleading tone still strong and more apparently not feigned.

Kili considered her request. Would not knowing really be better for her? She would have to find out eventually, it would be better to get it out of the way right? But another thought crept in, what if knowing will help it along and make it happen all the quicker. 'And if it doesn't? If it only makes it all less easy to deal with?' He thought.