frerard one shots

cherry

possible trigger warning (body image)

~

Gerard woke as soon as he felt Frank kiss him on the forehead as he left for work.

Frank was his boyfriend, and they shared a small apartment.

The two had met as kids and both developed crushes on each other. They dated throughout high school and eventually Gerard moved into a small apartment after graduation.

Frank took some classes at this community college not too far and he had a stable job. Gerard had neither. He had an almost promising cartooning career until he was diagnosed with severe depression and wanted to stop drawing.

Frank worried a lot about him because he always forgot to take his medication. (or just didn't like it)

Gerard's typical day was spent sleeping, drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee, and then sitting on the couch and feeling bad for himself.

****

It was raining that day which made Gerard happier. He liked to listen to it outside while he had days like these instead of music. The music he often listened to was gloomy, and it was monotonous and annoying to hear song after song about heartbreaks. So he sat in silence and pitied himself until Frank got home so he could kiss his face.

There were often days that Gerard simply sat staring at the wall, humming a song to himself. He still drew a little bit, but it was only on post-it notes or his own hands, sometimes Frank's.

A few months ago, Gerard drew all over his boyfriend's hands and Frank said he'd maybe want some of the things he'd drawn on him to get tattooed. Gerard said it wasn't a good idea.

He didn't say it, but in actuality, Gerard was thinking that he didn't want his shitty drawing of a spider web and a half broken heart tattooed on Frank's beautiful hands forever, or the words "if I were a ghost" in red written cursive around his wrist to be there. Frank didn't have to do that for him.

****

Mostly everything Gerard thought of himself derived from self hatred. Frank and him used to have sex, a topic Gerard now barely felt comfortable thinking about.

He hated when Frank would sing him praises and tell him how beautiful he was if he didn't believe it. It made him feel like he was being lied to by his own boyfriend fucking him.

He didn't want to hear Frank tell him something he didn't think true of himself.

This also added to the fact that when Gerard barely looked into the mirror. Ever. He didn't want to see his pathetic reflection stare back at him.

Frank was wrong. My curves aren't pretty. My nose is too pointy and my teeth are too small. I  hate the way my arms look when they're not covered by sleeves. Frank was wrong.

****

When Frank decided to come home earlier than usual, he surely didn't expect Gerard to be shocked. He knew that there was something up with Gerard, but he didn't expect to see his boyfriend's looking frightened.

"Gerard? Angel, what's wrong?" Frank asked, wearing a kind and comforting expression.

When he got no response from Gerard, he thought of a way to ask him why his bottle of medication has stayed full for so long.

"Gee, I know you haven't been taking your pills." He continued, still getting no response.

Gerard replied with a quiet voice, "I know Frankie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Frank came to comfort him, hugging Gerard as he cried.

They fell asleep like that, at around four o'clock. Gerard had dried tears and a runny nose and Frank still had his shoes on, but they were okay.

When they woke up, Gerard felt like he should explain.

He started giving off reasons why he disliked himself. Frank's heart was shattering into millions of pieces. How long had he been feeling like this?

Frank connected their lips, tears running down his boyfriend's face. He couldn't stop crying.

Gerard kissed back, which was weird because he was crying. He couldn't help it. He felt like absolute garbage and his meds just made him feel funny and he didn't like it. Frank made him okay just for a little while. Frank made him forget about hating himself.

****

From then on, things were a little different. Frank made sure Gerard took his pills and called his mom and saw his therapist regularly. Gerard even asked if they could go on a date.

Two weeks after they had fixed things, they had sex in the shower and Frank repeatedly told him he was beautiful and Gerard giggled and smiled.

Frank ended up getting a half broken heart and spider web tattoo with the words "hopeless romantic" on each of his hands that Gerard helped him pick out.

He was much happier that Gerard was okay.

****

oh my god I'm sorry for this mess I was so so sad and I was listening to sad music and I didnt really know what to do so I wrote this and it wasn't supposed to have a happy ending but I guess now it does

also: cherry doesn't really mean anything I just like the word itself and I was listening to depression cherry by beach house so

if some of you want I could continue this verse and write a smut scene :~) comment if yes?¿¿