A little piece of me

Colby :\

[Edit: so I wrote this a long time ago when I was in a pretty dark place. Colby was gone, I was depressed over stuff that was happening in my life, and I really just wasn't prepared to deal with emotional stress at the time, which is why I took it so hard when he disappeared. I couldn't deny the fact that he was one of my best friends, and losing someone that meaningful is always a hard thing. I considered deleting this one, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This poem is a part of who I am. It talks about a moment in my life that shaped the way I am today, so deleting would feel like I'm erasing an important part of my own history, and I just can't do that. Colby, if you end up reading this, it may be a little awkward so feel free to skip it. But if you do read it, just know that I wasn't the sanest person ever. I was confused, angry, and hurt and this poem reflects what I felt before I knew why you disappeared.]

When I wrote this poem, I was just writing. I didn't have any plans for what it would be about, or more importantly, WHO it would be about. So I was suprised when I got to end and the last word was his name. I tried to tell myself that what he said didn't really affect me or that he was just someone I met over the summer, but I can't. He's so much more than that and I'm afraid that I've gotten too attached to someone who doesn't care. To be honest, I was hesitant to post this because there are people who know my connection to Colby and I don't want them to think I'm pathetic or clingy. But I can't help but care for someone who made me feel happy and loved and special. No one's ever made me feel that way before so can you blame me for not wanting to let him go? Can you blame me for feeling hurt right now? I don't know.. Anyways, here's the poem. Sorry for the rant. I just felt the need to explain where I was coming from :\

Funny how I thought you cared,

but you left me in the dirt.

You threw away all our memories shared,

and left me feeling hurt.

I try to pretend that I'm okay.

That you put me through no harm.

I always figured it would turn out this way,

but I couldn't deny your charm.

But then you just up and left,

and took a part of my heart.

But I guess that it's for the best,

when we're so damn far apart.

I guess you tried to make it work,

but obviously not enough.

And then you went and gave up,

and left me in the dust.

And now I'm trying to let you go.

I wish it would happen faster.

But before it does, you should know,

you'll always be my "Master".

I thought that we were actually friends.

That maybe this could last.

But all good things eventually end,

and now it's just the past.

I really want to talk to you.

You used to make me happy.

But I guess there's nothing I can do.

I really miss you Colby.

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