To Patrick, From Pete // PETERICK

Chapter 8

To my best friend. [Deleted]

Hey Pattycakes [Deleted]

Hi Patrick! [Deleted]

To Patrick [Deleted]

To Trick [Deleted]

Dear Patrick,

Look who's going to college! Wow, New York City. Who would have thought? Not that I'm doubting your intelligence because I fucking knew you were going to get in New York University. Years from now you'll probably be a great accountant. You'll have a nice house of your own, probably a car, a cute dog, or probably a family of your own? ...I wish you luck in your future career and life.

- From Pete

...Fuck it.

Patrick I'm sorry for not coming to your graduation. I'm sorry if I disappoint you lots of times. I'm sorry for not being a better best friend to you. But I know this isn't enough to make you stay. I would do anything just to make you stay. But I can't stop you. Because you have your whole future planned out for you. I don't want to be the one to ruin it. Because the worst thing to ever happen is for you to hate me. I'm selfish, Patrick. I'm clingy, destructive and a mess. Maybe it's your friendship that only got me to become better. Who would tell me if I'm doing something wrong? Who would tell me if I've been an ass to someone? Who would calm me down on nights where I couldn't sleep?

You grew up, Patrick. But I don't think I ever did. And I don't think I ever could. Not without you.

I honestly thought we'd grow up together. Maybe have a house of our own where we're still neighbors. When we were kids, I thought of a future where you're still there beside me. Hell, I even thought of marrying you just so you'd stay with me. This is so weird and cliché as fuck but I'd totally marry you not just because I want you to stay with me. It's because I love you. Not as a best friend, but something more. But I just can't say it to you out of fear that you'll be weirded out and really forget me.

You might think I'm the bravest person you know. But I'm a coward. I'm not the person who you think I am. I fear the future. It's so uncertain, it's so unclear. I'm scared Patrick. I couldn't even tell you how I feel. Would that change anything? Would telling you can make you stay?

No. Of course it won't.

[message saved to drafts]

Dear Pete,

How are you, son? How's the university doing for you? I'm glad you were able to catch up with Patrick after his graduation. We understand why you couldn't come. University has probably been getting to you. You could have at least told us sooner. Patrick was so worried about you. 

Speaking of worry, are you okay, Pete? I can't help but notice how sad you are. This is about Patrick, isn't it? I'll miss him. Remember when I used to joke about how I'd love to adopt Patrick? I remember how mad you are whenever I joke about that. 'hes my best frend!! you can't adapt him!!'

I know how much you love that boy. Sometimes I think you love him more than Me and your Mom. We'll miss him too, Pete. We'll miss him everyday. Your Mom loves pinching his chubby cheeks. You used to scold your Mom because it was hurting Patrick. You're too overprotective of him, you know? How about we visit him one day? Maybe for a vacation? You'd like that, yeah?

You and Patrick will never stop being friends. Even if you're far away from each other. Always remember that, son.

Love you always.