Higher

Chapter 3

Pants are a good thing usually. You wear them to be comfortable and it has just been socially accepted that pants should be worn. However, currently I could not give any fucks about pants.

I was wearing Theo's shirt and some underwear, that's it. I did not care at the moment. Theo apparently didn't either. As I walked down the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, Theo just raised an eyebrow at my attire.

He did that a lot.

"What?" I asked, as I slumped over on the bar stool and counter. I put my head down and closed my eyes. Some how I was still tired even though after the whole make out session last night we went home and slept. Only slept... sadly. I could think of a few things that would have been better than sleeping. But Theo still wasn't convinced I was serious about this. So, I let the subject drop.

You know, for a virgin I am extremely horny. Wasn't this normally how the guy was supposed to be feeling? Aren't I supposed to be the emotional one.

Lifting my head and meeting Theo's bare chest I sighed. I'm okay with being the horny one as long as it's with Theo.

Maybe I am the emotional one.

"I didn't say anything." He replied, voice deep and clearly not used to speaking. Smirking he leaned forward on the counter and rested his head in his hands supported by his elbows on the marble.

He was inches from my face.

Oh. My. God.

Theo's eyes were my new favorite color of blue.

"Did you have a good sleep?" I tried very hard to not close my eyes and just listen to his voice. Literally everything about Theo seemed to be attractive to me. I think I have a problem.

Instead of answering considering I knew I would probably say something embarrassing since him being so close was fucking with my brain I just nodded and kept my eyes focused on his.

He moved close enough that his breath was on my lips. Pushing himself so that his one hand rose to tangle with my hair I waited patiently for him to press his lips to mine.

Somewhere in the background I heard a doorbell ring but I couldn't convince myself it was important enough to turn away from Theo.

In a few hesitant seconds he moved closer and closer and finally...

Kissed my nose.

"You are such a tease." Throwing my hands in the air in frustration I watched as he walked to the door laughing.

"I know." He winked, AGAIN, and then turned back around to answer the door.

I think if he kept doing that I might die. Just fall off my stool and die.

"Hayden?"

Suddenly I didn't feel as good. I let my eyes fall onto Kieran West, a man I hoped I would never see again. He rushed into the kitchen and in front of me, trying to take my hands in his but I would not be touching him, ever.

I saw Theo tense when he noticed Kieran trying to hold my hand. He honestly was already tense. It appears he did not appreciate Kieran rushing into the house. I honestly didn't like it either. Especially since I had hoped I would never have to see Kieran again. 

That old familiar guilt rose up in me and I felt sick to my stomach. It took years to make myself not want to throw up every time I remembered Kieran but seeing him again brought back a lot of memories I had no intention of reliving. It just reminded me how much I fucked up peoples lives. Bringing back all my past insecurities was not a good idea. Shriving, I knew how scared I looked to both Theo and Kieran. I was truly terrified of what this moment would do to me. I barely survived last time.

Feeling my breathing start to go short and my eyes darkening I knew I was panicking.

Closing my eyes I tried to think of something that would bring me back down.

Suddenly I felt hands on my shoulders and a slight shaking but I was back to the present. Opening my eyes, I smirked, Theo had that look on his face that made me realize that this time was different.

I wasn't alone this time.

"Hayden?" Kieran was obviously pushed out of the way by Theo and seemed almost sullen. His blond hair was messy and brown eyes apologetic, he rubbed his arm and looked away from me. West was wearing an expensive suit that was tailored perfectly for him. He looked put together and clean. It was a weird look on him. I remember him as a scared 9 year old that could never stand up for himself but here stood a man that screamed power. I wasn't surprised.

"West." I replied, knowing I would have to face him eventually. "Why are you here?"

He appeared hurt by my cold behavior. "I finally find you after how many years and you react like this?"

"How did you think I would react? I left for a reason West, I didn't want to talk about it then and I don't want to talk about it now."

"I wanted to say thank you for what you did for me! What makes you think I would be mad at you?"

Suddenly I was out of my seat and had walked so I was face to face with Kieran. "Because I ruined everything."

"You saved me from the man I was supposed to call father. You may think it makes you a terrible person but you helped in more ways you could have ever done otherwise."

Once I heard the words it felt like I had been run over by a truck. I knew it was coming yet I was left unprotected from the actions of my past.

"You killed him! What is the problem? The man was horrible to me, to you, to my mom. He deserved to die!" West finally said after he realized I was going to be silent. He stared me down, not letting up.

My eyes searched for those beautiful blue eyes that sat quietly by my side. I was expecting disgust, resentment, even anger. Theo was stoic as ever but his eyes held mine and showed his realization not the loathing I was prepared for. The loathing I always think I deserve.

"Mr. West, it appears Hayden won't be able to talk with you today. How about we do this at a later date?" His voice was soothing and all I wanted to do was have him pull me into his arms and hug my fears out of me.

Kieran's face fell but he appeared to know this was going to happen. "Okay. Please, Hayden, don't let me lose you too."

He walked out of the house and I collapsed on the kitchen stool, my head down and eyes covered. I tried to stop all those thoughts of my past, of my actions when I was only 8.

There was a long silence before eventually Theo was the one to break it.

"So it appears, you have killed two fathers, that has got to be some kind of record."

Despite my sullen mood I laughed and thanked whatever God out there that somehow this man was mine.