Three Cheers for Sweethearts [Frerard AU]

PART III: Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22 – FTWWW

Tuesday morning, the previous week made an appearance, one moment at a time, in my mind's eye. Saying no in front of everyone without the courtesy to at least tell Frank privately first. Hunter finding out. Breaking the deal with him (okay, that was still a highlight). Yelling at Hunter about rejecting Frank. I still felt bad about that. Every moment I'd passed him in the hallway and been ignored. It still was incredibly awkward to even remember. The week unraveled itself in a similar fashion. Frank had gotten very quiet. And our relationship was getting worse.

We never really talked directly. No meaningful conversations. If we had to talk, it was about school, or some question that only the other one could answer for us. It was all strictly business, and very rarely that.

Every time I saw him in the hallway, I tried to give him a nod, if nothing else just to indicate that everything was okay on my end, and I did still want to be friends with him. Though honestly, at this point, I wasn't even sure if that was true. But he always just happened to be looking away. Sometimes I even tried to start a conversation, but he'd pay little attention, and it ended quickly. Any texts sent weren't answered.

I knew this was my fault. It's always my fault. I didn't even think it was about overhearing Hunter and me last week anymore. In fact, I'd talked about it with Ray in Study Hall once, assuming that could have been what set him off; he said Frank didn't even mention it. Ray must not have known about the asking to prom, because that definitely would have been one of the first things he told me – and I'd never tell. But still I remembered Ray had also said a while back that he and Frank only ever talked about me. At least, I think that's what he said. It made me uneasy to think about – to know I was being talked about when I wasn't in the room.

It was over the weekend that I came to terms with the fact that we weren't friends anymore. And to my surprise, really, it lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.

All of this effort that was being put into avoiding eye contact but still sneaking glances, dreading the hours that would pass when we had to sit next to each other and find an hour's worth of excuses not to look at or talk to the other one, all just gone. If he still wanted to be friends, well, it was on him now. He had to make the effort. In the back of my mind I figured I wasn't trying hard enough, but really, what more could I do? I hadn't even noticed how much it was stressing me out until I decided that it was already over and there was nothing I could do.

I didn't have to try to talk to him. I didn't have to make eye contact, nor avoid it. I didn't have to try to acknowledge his presence at all. If he was going to treat me like a stranger, I had to treat him like he was invisible, too.

***

The fact is, I'm totally fine with not being friends with Frank.

That's a lie. I want to be friends. It's he who doesn't.

I found myself repeating this in my head a significant number of times throughout the day. More often than what was personally acceptable to me.

I needed to let it go, but for some reason he wouldn't leave my mind. Every time he turned a corner my heart would jump, seeing him there with his perfectly straight tie he felt the need to straighten anyways. I didn't like it. I considered changing my route to avoid seeing him, and in turn, avoid all these weird reactions I couldn't help.

The week just went downhill. The more times we passed each other, the more classes we sat through, simply the more time we spent together against our will, the more we caught each other looking away from the other, the tension just... built.

I hated that.

I hated hating that.

I couldn't move on from him; I missed being his friend. Good memories were still in my past, and his, too. But all they were were memories now.

Lunch was fine. Nothing changed. Ray held us together by keeping conversation himself, while the two of us contributed without directly talking to one another. We didn't have to. Eventually it became conventional.

It was in Theatre later in the week when I knew our friendship was really over. If he wasn't pushing me away before, he was now.

I didn't catch him looking away. Not once.

Most of the time it was horribly awkward when it happened, when one of us realized that we were still thinking about the other, or at least remembered they were in the room. As much as I hated it, as much as I hated hating it, it happened every day at least once. We still looked at each other. We still made sure the other one was watching. Maybe it was something attention-seeking, or maybe it was us just being teenagers and wanting everyone to see what we were doing that was so impressive all the time, or maybe even our actual, personal curiosity. But in Theatre – and mind you, that is the hardest class to avoid looking at him in – I didn't see him look away from me once. And it wasn't because he was just casually scanning the other side of the room, or pretending to look for a clock when the classroom didn't even have one. No. He just wasn't interested. The same way I never found myself looking at Austin, or Hayley. Or even Mikey. I always found myself looking back at Frank. Maybe out of boredom. Or maybe nervous habit. Maybe just to be sure he's not looking at me.

But Frank didn't do that anymore. He had stopped trying, too.

And that was almost heartbreaking.

A/N

Hello friends! I hope you're enjoying the story so far and the sweet torture of a ship that just won't get together. I realize this is kind of an off-topic note, but if you're reading it the week of December 19 when this is first posted, I have an opportunity for you!

I am in the editing stage of another story I've written, and I would love to have five or six beta readers put another pair of eyes on it before I publish it. It's about 36k words (94 pages) and not Frerard, but all I'll tell you about it right now is that it's a crossover fic and involves characters you are probably familiar with. :)

I only ask the general crowd here and not my previous group of beta readers because all of them have changed their usernames since they helped me edit TCFSH, so I have pretty much lost them to the depths of the internet. Sigh.

If you're interested, shoot me a message or leave an inline comment here! All that would be required of you is your email and a critical eye (be hard on me!). I'd like for you to be able to finish editing it and send it back within about two weeks of receiving it so I can get it out there in January sometime.

Thanks friends! Have a happy holiday season!

~Cassidy