The Nightmare Has Only Begun

Chapter Fifteen

(Jonhathan)

"Police have now apprehended the two accomplices in the connection to the disappearance and murder of two and the entrapment of another teenager held against his will. Charges have been filed and bail withheld for Katelynn and Kyle Henderson. Both are in custody at the county jail here right behind me. Police say..." the reporter can be heard on the television as I stand on the bottom of the stairs near my parent's bedroom.

The news reporter doesn't skip a beat going on and on like the next news reporter does until the channel is switched and something else can be heard.

I begin to retreat back to what it was I going to do which was get something to drink before my attention was adverted. I didn't want to listen to the rest anyway. I don't want to and neither do I need to know the rest of what was about to be said. It's always the same. I guess different in a way when they found Katelynn and Kyle making my chances of being able to escape here virtually impossible now. I have no one on the outside that will take my side or Jared's. I'm stuck here and there is no leaving anytime soon.

Where can I go? Where would I want to go? I'm living in hell and I don't see how it can get any better anywhere else. I doubt it can and ever will. I'm forced to stay here for however long they think I need to be like I'm not a stable person to take care of myself or my own son. I'm physically capable to do everything myself. I'm perfectly fine with nothing wrong with me.

I think I am at least most times.

They keep confusing me trying to see it their way and I'm having trouble with not falling for their lies. It's harder when I have to talk to someone twice a week about my life and what happened. I admit it's not as bad as it was with a detective or cop but someone else. The woman I have to speak with isn't a terrible person. She doesn't try to convince me into anything. She hardly talks actually letting me do most of it during the hour sessions. I don't even have to talk if I don't want to. I can waste the time sitting in the room without a word but usually I don't. I don't want to hear the silence when it reminds me of being in the attic Jared placed me in and that's all I had. I had my thoughts and his visits once and a while trying to make me see it his way. I hated it and I still do thinking about it.

Maybe in the beginning it was horrible to be with him but it didn't last. It didn't last for a long time as long as I did as he wanted. As long as he was willing to stop drinking and taking his medicine like he should. He didn't mean to hurt me. He said he was sorry and didn't mean what he did. He said he would stop. He wouldn't try to hurt me. He had to scare me to realize being with him is what was best. He made me happy and that's what mattered. He cared about me unlike everyone else now that is trying to surround themselves around me for the pass few months. Acting like they have always cared when they never did until now and it irritates me.

I want them to leave me alone. I want to be left by myself and not forced to talk to someone about how I feel, what happened and everything else that happened through the years living with Jared. I'm sick of it. I want it to stop. I thought it would have stopped a while along, I wanted it to and not still be here without him. I didn't want to be having our daughter alone like I'm going to be soon.

She's going to be here and I can't believe she is. I can't believe how long the days drew out yet went by fast to be close to having her in a week. I wanted to hold onto the hope I would wake up and not be here. I wouldn't be living in a nightmare. I wouldn't have had it turn into a nightmare just beginning that never seems to end.

*****

She's perfect. She's everything I thought she would be and more. She's all I could want and ask for as I hold her in my arms asleep. She was a surprise I'm grateful to have in my life along with Jayden who I love more than anything. They're my kids, my family with Jared they can't possibly take away from me.

She has dark hair the same as Jayden does and Jared. She's so small and tiny at six pounds wrapped in a pink blanket not making a fuss. I think she tired herself out already but I'm not tired after having her. I'm wide awake not wanting to go asleep but spend hours with her and never let her go.

The sound of the door opening has me look over to see Jayden rushing inside the room, "Slow down." My mom half yells, half whispers trying to grab him but she can't.

He's out of reach near the bed in the small room trying to climb up on the bed, "What's her name?" Jayden ignoring her just like I do while he's too excited about his new sister.

"Vivian." I tell him as he stares in awe.

I chose her name a while ago with Jared if she happened to be a girl. Even though he wasn't excited at first to the news of another child he came around to her later. We came to a mutual decision on names for either a boy or a girl we would be having. We planned more but it didn't get to happen and I doubt it ever will.

"She's beautiful." she comments after a long silence of nothing which has me thinking she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to say anything when she doesn't like Jared. She thinks he's a monster so I guess that would make my kids monsters in her eyes she can never love. Or am I thinking too much into everything and making it appear that way in my eyes myself?

*****

"What's going to happen?" Jayden asks as we sit in the living room alone watching a movie with Vivian asleep in her crib upstairs.

"I don't know yet Jayden I haven't watched this movie before." I say.

"No," he shakes his head, "What's going to happen with us here? You promised we would leave soon before Vivian but we didn't." he whispers with my dad on the phone with work in the other room.

We've been back from the hospital for a few days and Jayden couldn't look any more happier but I should have known better. I should know when I'm not happy with being here and I did promise we would leave. I promised we wouldn't be here and everything would be okay. I said we would see his dad soon but with the months going by, forced to talk to a consoler, and having Vivian it hasn't happened. Jared is somewhere else behind bars and we are no close to leaving.

"I-"

"Can we stay here?" he says before I can speak.

"You want to stay?" I look at him confused when months ago he didn't want to be here. He wanted to leave and was scared of my mom and now he wants to stay? "Why?"

"I don't know." he shrugs. "It's not that bad here."

I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel. I don't know how I'm suppose to react about his sudden change of being scared and not wanting to be here to wanting to stay in a short four months of being here.