Heartbreaker

I'm A Bitch, Suck It Up.

Layla
I watch as Aiden storms out, my heart aching with every step, but it doesn't matter, he deserves better. I look at the guy I've been flirting with and say goodbye, feeling numb and hollow. I don't want him.
Heels clicking, I rush off, I need my quiet place.
Slamming my car door I look out the window and what I see tears me apart, my already aching heart shatters and I don't understand why. I got what I want.
He's moved on. He's kissing the girl and they're getting in his car. Now he doesn't care, now he can be happy. Normal.
I watch as he speeds off and it helps because the further he gets away the less I feel.
Anxiously I check the car park, he's coming out soon and I know he's going to come for me, I know it. Panic bubbles in my chest and suddenly the car park is too empty and the shadows under the trees are too dark. Heart hammering harshly I hurriedly reverse my car and whiz off, the feeling of being watched clinging to me like a second skin. Will he find me? I'll never let you go, do you hear me? Never. I will always find you.
My vision goes black and I swerve the car, my body shakes and convulses, I want to scream but nothing comes out, my lungs are burning and my skin crawls BAM! Darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Piercing white light blinds me when I peel my eyes open. I blink rapidly trying to stop the burn and end up staring at a boring, blank ceiling. 

You see most people describe being in the accident as remembering nothing and waking up to everything. People with flowers, the whole family crying. Everything. 

Well, me, I woke up remembering everything and having nothing. 

No family. No friends. No overly dramatic flowers. No tears of utter happiness. Nothing. Instead, I got a tight feeling in my chest that no amount of 'calm' breathing will shift and a heart that won't slow down which leads to a really annoying 'beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep' that gave me a headache. Perfect. Other than that the room was deathly silent. Eery.

And then I tried to move.

My deafening screams shatter the silence when I lean on my wrist, I fall back breathing heavily, doctors run in and start talking in blurs.  I suck in a sharp breath and let it hiss out, refusing to cry. 

"Sweetie, you going to have to be very careful, is there anyone I can call for you?" I shake my head and let my eyes flutter close, "Not even the nice boy stalking the corridors looking for you?" she asks, soundly mildly amused. My heart instantly misses a beat, can it be? Has he finally found me? 

"He's very good looking," she says, Aiden! I sigh in relief.

"Let him in please," I say shakily. I don't care, I need him, I can go back to ignoring him after.  Selfish? Yep, oh well. Heart beating wildly I watch as she leaves, slight smile on her face, to fetch the person I've been running from. 

He walks in, face cold and expressionless and immediately starts talking. His voice washing over my and calming my frazzled nerves.

"You cousin turned up at my house, telling me that her bad daddy is coming out of holiday camp. Kevin?" 

Panicking, "What?! Is she ok?" 

"She's fine but I know you're not"

"What? I'm fine"

"Don't lie to me! You've been having nightmares and not sleeping, which probably has something to do with the fact you're sleeping in your car and you always look scared and nervous. Tell me Layla. Don't lie, I've basically worked it out myself so just tell me. Stop being such a bitch!" Rage boils dangerously in my chest, my face heating and my hands shaking.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Coming in here and expecting me to spill my fucking life story? Stay out of my business! And guess what?! I am a bitch, suck it up"

"Stay out of your business? Fuck you! I'm so fucking sorry I care!"

"IF YOU CARED WHY WERE YOU KISSING THAT GIRL!" I scream, a realisation of what I just said settles and the room fall into a tense silence. 

"Really? God, you are deluded! I have been chasing you, trying to figure you out, since my first day! Not because you're beautiful because you are a mystery! Intriguing. Broken. Like me. Dark. I needed you and you weren't there, you pushed me away when you obviously needed me. I needed a distraction. It didn't work. 

I have driven your niece back to the care home and I saw your car smashed up and have never panicked so much in my life, I've lost 1 person i love and that nearly killed me, i can't lose you to. I refuse to let you sleep in your car anymore so I've given the doctor my number, he'll call me when you ready to be dischargeed." and with that he turns and leaves, a thousand unanswered questions hovering on the tip of my tongue, tears lingering in my eyes and that irritating beep of the machine where my heart is hyperventilating. 

The nurse enters again, meekly, obviously been ear wigging. 

"You ok, love?" I nod and manage a weak smile.

"OK, you can leave in an hour, after your vitals have been checked." She smiles and I nod, Aiden playing on my mind. Who did he lose? 

Maybe I'm not the only one haunted by my past.

When Aiden picks me up, he doesn't say a word. It kills me.

I finally pick up the courage to ask,

"Can we take a detour please, I was on my way somewhere before I crashed." My voice is unusually quiet and meek. He nods and takes a U-turn when I shyly tell im where to go.

I'm ready to let him see a tiny glimpse of my past. 

A place I have shared with no one, a place I find peace, a place I can think with darkness swallowing me whole. 

My light.