Counting Stars and Scars {Kellic}

6. Lead Me Out of the Dark

{Song- Lead Me Out of the Dark by Crown the Empire}

I can't stop feeling Kellin's lips on my forehead.

After he leaves, I go back to my room and spend a large amount of time thinking about him.

This happens so often I actually call it my "Kellin Time," because at least a few times a week about an hour is set aside to thinking about just how much I love him. It's ridiculously stalker-y, and sometimes it makes me feel like I should be put in a padded white room. Like, who could possibly be that obsessed with a person? It that normal?

Probably not.

Oh well. I won't be able to get him out of my head whether I like it or not, so might as well go big or go home, right?

So that's exactly what I do.

I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling, think about Kellin, and eventually decide that I need to do some homework. As dramatic and soap opera-y my life feels sometimes, I still have responsibilities. I sigh, and take out my books, turning on the light in the corner. It's around five in the evening, already getting dark out.

I wonder what Kellin is doing.

Are his parents really mad at him? Should I try to call to make sure he's okay?

I decide to leave it alone; because I don't want to seem desperate or clingy. He'll call if he needs me, I guess.

After finishing my homework for the day, I successfully waste time for another few hours, practicing guitar and playing games on my phone. It's eight o clock now, and I'm laying on my bed listening to blink-182 through the speakers.

All of a sudden, I hear the doorbell ring. I frown. I'm not expecting anyone to come over, unless it's Kellin, but he didn't say he was coming. I get up from the bed and lean over to turn the music off on my iPod. I run down the stairs and open the door.

Kellin is standing on the doorstep, shivering. He's not wearing a jacket; even though it's a very cold fall night. He's slightly out of breath, and I wonder if he ran all the way here.

"Kellin," I say. "What-"

I don't get to say anything else, because before I can process what's going on, I'm shoved back inside the house and pushed up against the door once it closes. I'm not breathing because Kellin's face is two inches from mine, and his breath is against my lips. He stares into my eyes, and reaches up to cup my face with his hands.

The only thought that's going through my brain right now is, WHAT?

A second later, Kellin's mouth smashes against mine.

I gasp against his lips, but he only kisses me harder.

Kellin is kissing me.

Why is Kellin kissing me?

And now I'm kissing Kellin back.

What the hell is going on?

All I know is, this feels better than anything I've ever experienced.

Kellin's hands move from my face down to my arms, then latch on to my hips to hold me against the door as he presses into me. Shivers follow wherever his fingers go, and I can't get enough of him.

I wrap my arms around his neck, trying to get rid of any kind of space between us. Kellin's hands are moving up and down my hips slowly, making my entire body tingle. Our lips are moving against each others desperately and feverishly, hands running all over each other.

My skin feels like its on fire.

Kellin bites my bottom lip, and I gasp at the feeling. He takes the chance to slip his tongue into my mouth. I make a noise and my head falls back against the door behind me. Kellin just continues to kiss me forcefully, tongue exploring my mouth. 

The kiss would have continued, but unfortunately we both run out of air. Kellin pulls away and rests his forehead on mine, breathing heavily. 

I stare into his eyes and whisper, panting a little, "Kellin, what are yo-"

"I know, I know," he interrupts me, speaking softly. "I don't know, okay? All I know is my dad was saying I'm spending too much time with you; he called me a faggot, Vic. But I realized that I don't care. I realized that all the things I've been feeling about you lately aren't friendly. I cant stop thinking about you, Vic, and I didn't even realize it.  I- fuck." He shakes his head a little and brings a hand up to stroke my cheek softly. "I love you, Vic. I really, really, love you."

"Kells." I can't even say anything else. In all honestly, I'm wondering if I somehow fell asleep doing homework and haven't woken up. But his hands on my skin and heat on his breath tells me it's real, very real.

After a few moments of me staring at him with my mouth open, Kellin starts to look panicked. "Fuck, I'm sorry Vic," he rushes. "I thought- I mean- I shouldn't have-"

"No," I say loudly. "No, Kells, it's fine." I place both hands on the sides of his face. "It's more than fine. I love you too. I've loved you forever." And with that, I kiss him again.