Counting Stars and Scars {Kellic}

7. I Love You

{Song- My Escape by Ravenscode}

I lead Kellin back to my room, and we continue to make out there.

I can't get enough of him; his lips, his hair, his eyes, his skin. I can barely even believe this is happening. He pushes me back against the pillows on the bed and climbs on top of me, kissing every part of my neck.

My breath hitches when he reaches my collarbone, but then a sudden thought pops in my head, and I push him away slightly.

"Wait," I say, breathless. Kellin pauses and looks at me quizzically. "What about Katelynn?" I ask.

"What about her?"

"I thought- I mean- Aren't you in love with her?"

Kellin stares at me. "In love with Katelynn? Where on earth did you get that from?"

I blush. "I just- you were- I don't know, you were always acting like you were in love with her."

Kellin sighs, and pulls away from me completely, sitting cross legged on the bed. "I mean, I guess I kinda thought I had a crush on her at some point, but that was just me being stupid and in denial."

"How were you in denial?"

It's Kellin's turn to blush. "I think I'm gay. Like, completely gay. As in, I don't like girls gay."

"I know what gay is, Kells." I laugh a little.

"Well, what about you?" he asks. "I don't know why we've never talked about this before, having been friends for so long."

I shrug. "I don't know. I think it's whatever for me, you know all about the heart and not the gender or shit like that." I never really thought about it, to be honest. Kellin has been the only person I've been in love with so far, so maybe I'm just Kellin-sexual. 

He nods, understanding. "Now, I have something really serious to ask you."

Suddenly, I'm nervous. This could be a multitude of things, and in my mind none of them are good. "Yeah?" I reply, trying to not show how my hands started shaking.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

I blink. "What?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?" he asks again, taking my hands in his. "I love you, you love me, so why not?"

I blink again. And again. I had dreamed about this moment so many times, and now it was actually happening. Kellin is asking me to be his boyfriend.

"Yes." I say, a little too loudly. "Hell yes."

Kellin grins at me and gives me a quick peck on the lips, even though I wish it could have lasted longer.

"You know what this means, right?" he whispers in my ear.

"What?" I whisper back.

"It means I can kiss you whenever I want."

I smirk. "Yeah? Who told you that?"

He pouts. "Come on, Vic. Just admit it, you want to be that cheesy couple that's always touching and cuddling."

Yeah, I do, I think to myself. Instead of saying that, I just smile and lean in, giving him a long, slow kiss.

He kisses me back, bringing up a hand to tangle in my hair.

"I love you so much," he mumbles against my lips.

I bite his bottom lip gently, making a noise come out of his throat. It's the single greatest thing I've ever heard.

"I love you too," I reply. Then I pull back a tiny bit to look into his eyes. "Just promise you won't hurt me," I whisper. Because I don't think I'll be able to take it. Those last words don't need to be spoken; I know Kellin can see it in my eyes.

"I promise," he replies gently, and kisses me again. We fall back against the bed, Kellin landing on top of me. Suddenly, I cry out in pain. He had hit my stomach, and I can feel some of the cuts reopening.

Kellin hears the noise, and pulls away, looking at me with worry. "What's wrong?" he asks.

I wince, and  pull myself from under him to further up the bed, holding my side. "It's just-" I gasp as another spike of stabbing pain goes up my side; I had moved too much. "-the cuts," I finish.

I don't have to say anything else, because Kellin has jumped off the bed. "Stay here," he says, and runs to the bathroom. He reappears a minute later with a first aid kit.

"Take off your shirt," he orders me, and climbs back on the bed by my side.

"Yes, Doctor Kellin." The little smile I give him quickly turns into a grimace as I tug the shirt over my head and throw it to the floor, trying to not move too much.

Kellin's face is a mask of sadness as he appraises my torso for the second time in two days. I look down. It looks almost worse than before, because yes, a lot of the cuts reopened and are now oozing blood.

"Shit." Kelllin says softly, then opens the first aid kit, grabbing gauze, band aids, and some antibiotic ointment before laying it out on the bed.

"You might want to get the steri strips," I say quietly. "The band aids might not do it."

Kellin looks at me with the face of a startled deer. "How many times have you had to do this?"

I look down. "A lot."

He bites his lip, looking heartbroken, before leaning in and giving me a small kiss on the lips. Then he leans back and picks up the gauze. I hold back a gasp of pain when he presses it against the wounds, even though he does it as gently as possible.

We sit in silence as Kellin continues to tend to my self-inflicted wounds, cleaning the blood off and bandaging them, occasionally applying antibiotic to the worse looking ones.

After a few minutes, Kellin suddenly shakes his head and gives a dry, humorless laugh.

"What?" I ask.

He shakes his head again. "Nothing. I mean- not nothing. It's just, there's so many books and movies out there about this kind of thing. It romanticizes all of it." He pauses what he's doing to look me in the eyes. "But there's nothing romantic about this."

It breaks my heart that he has to realize this. "I know," I say after a space of silence. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm just glad you're letting me help you." Kellin places the last bandage, and then hands me my shirt. "There you go. All patched up."

He puts the supplies away as I pull my shirt on. "Thank you," I say, and I know he knows that I'm not just saying thank you for the first aid care.

He smiles and kisses me again, and god, I can never get enough of his kisses.

"I love you," he says, and it makes me want to hear those three words come out of his mouth over and over again.

"I love you too."

He's about to kiss me again when we're both startled by the noise of a door slamming downstairs. Kellin jumps away from me and looks around.

"Is that your parents?" he asks. "I thought they weren't getting home until Sunday."

"I thought so too."

But I can hear Mike's voice, so I know they are home indeed. I check the time. It's almost 10, pretty late. Maybe Mikes game got done early?

"VIC!" My mom yells from downstairs. "WE NEED YOU TO HELP UNLOAD!"

Kellin gives me an apologetic glance. I sigh and turn to trudge down the stairs.

Well, shit.