Counting Stars and Scars {Kellic}

13. For the Last Time, I Bleed Myself Dry

{Song- City Lights by Motionless In White}

(A/N: Please listen to song ^.^ It really sets to mood for this chapter. Idk how many people have been listening to the songs as they go along but they really do have a lot of significance to the story.)

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Some would think that when you're heading to go commit suicide, you'd be sobbing, hysterical.

I'm not.

After I've picked myself up from the cold floor of the hallway, everything to the core of my bones aching, my decision is made for good. I become perfectly calm. In fact, my thoughts are more composed then they've in been in a long while.

I step into a near bathroom, just to asses the visible damage before anyone sees me. Glancing in the mirror, I see a line of blood dripping from my nose, and a little around my mouth from the cut lip. I glower at my reflection, suddenly irritated at the fact that I waited so long to end it.

It would have spared me, as well as plenty of other people, a lot of pain.

Oh well. It'll be over soon.

I pick up a paper towel and wipe the blood off my face. The damage there isn't too bad. I can tell that I'll have a black eye later, but no one will have to see me then. As for the rest of me, I don't know what it looks like, but it's all covered by clothing.

One last bitter glance at myself, and I leave the bathroom.

For the last time.

Students are staring to head to class now that it's the end up of lunch. I keep my head down, dodging the smiling kids walking with their friends.

I'm just about free, touching the handle to the door of the school, when someone grabs my arms. I hiss, whipping around, because there's probably a couple different bruises in that one spot.

"Jesus Christ, Vic, what happened to you?" Jaime's astounded voice asks. He's standing in front of me with Tony, and I see Kellin further back, looking at the ground.

"Nothing," I say quietly, my voice unwilling to go much higher then a whisper. "Just Radke."

"Shit, dude. Doesn't seem like nothing."

"It's fine." I grip my backpack strap tightly, trying to distract myself from the presence of Kellin. I'm not looking anyone in the eye as I think about how badly I want to get out of here. 

"Vic." I see Tony studying me carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I smile. "Just tired, you know?"

"Bullshit." Tony shoots me a look. "Because I totally didn't have to force a razor away from you earlier."

I cringe. From further away, I see Kellin's head suddenly snap up at those words.

"What?" he asks, voice cracking. He looks at me, sea green eyes worriedly fliting over my face.

"I'm fine." I say quickly, just wanting to get away from them. "I need to go grab something from my car, okay?" I turn back around and reach for the handle again.

"See you later, bud!" Jaime calls after me.

"Yeah, later," I say before exiting the building.

Sorry, Jaime, I think. But you won't be seeing me.

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The clouds are heavy as I walk to the parking lot. No one follows me to my car, thankfully. I slide into the drivers seat, and take a deep breath before starting the car up, just as a couple droplets of rain all onto the windshield. With one long, last look at the school where I call hell, for the last time, I back out of the parking lot. I won't be missing this place.