little talks • harry styles

7

"You're gone, gone, gone away, I watched you disappear. All that's left is the ghost of you"

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Bella's behaviour towards Harry had clearly changed. And Harry hated it.
She was sitting cross legged in bed, Nirvana blaring through her headphones, she'd turned the music up loud enough so that Harry could hear it in hopes that he wouldn't talk to her. He still tried, poking her leg over and over again until she groaned, pulling a headphone out and glaring at him.

"What do you want, Harry?" She asked.

"Please tell me what I've done" He begged miserably, resting his head on her lap. Bella sighed, pulling out her other headphone and running her fingers through his unruly hair.

"Harry" She whispered back numbly.

He made noise somewhere between growling and choking and glared at Bella.

"Don't bullshit me" He warned her, "what's changed in you, Bella? I don't know what I've done. You - you've gone away somewhere, it's like I've had to sit here and watch you disappear, all that's left now is this ghost of you! Talk to me" Harry's hands gripped her wrists. Bella's eyes watered as Harry spoke, her hand's movements stopped in his hair and she stared into his beady green eyes. Her heart was beating rapidly as she mustered up the courage to ask him the questions she had held onto for so long.

"What's going on Harry?" The first tear fell from her eye. Harry opened his mouth to answer her but she cut him off. "Please, please don't lie to me. I know there's something you're keeping from me"

"You think I'm keeping something from you?" Harry said slowly, as if he was talking to a child. "Where the fuck did you get that from?"

"Why can't I have friends?" She snapped.

"You do have friends, you have me!" He yelled.

Bella rolled her eyes, pushing Harry off of her.

"You know what I mean Harry. Why do you insist on me pushing everyone away, but you! I love you Harry, I love you so much it hurts sometimes but that doesn't mean I can't have other people in my life!" She had never said this to him before and she was scared for his reaction. But her fear didn't stop her from telling him how she really felt. "You've made me push everyone away since the day we first met! And not to mention what happened last week-"

"God, will you just shut up? I thought you wanted that, I thought you wanted it to be just us, that's how you made it seem. Besides, I never forced you to get rid of anyone, you chose to do that!" He roared, she had never seen him this angry before. "I swear to god Bella if you don't stop bringing up what happened last week. It doesn't mean anything! It was just a guy on the street"

Everything Bella had planned on saying was gone, only one question lingered in her mind. She thought back to everything that had happened since the day she met Harry. From Florence, the kids at school who called her a freak, her mum, all down to the way that bus driver had reacted when Bella mentioned Harry.

Her mother's words had replayed in her mind for weeks,

Harry isn't real

"Harry?" She whispered, multiple tears now rolling freely down her face. Harry wiped them away with his thumb, he shook his head.

"What?"

Bella took a deep breath, the next few words she spoke broke her heart.
"Are you... really here?"

Harry's expression changed to one Bella wasn't at all expecting. He looked ready to kill, his eyes noticeably darkened and his jaw clenched.

"Of course, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm right here" He spoke tensely.

"Stop fucking lying to me!" Bella screamed as loud as her voice would let her, though she backed down a bit when Harry's mouth curled into a snarl. His fingers dug harshly into her forearm.

"Speak to me like that one more time baby girl, I dare you" He chuckled but it was fuelled by anything but humour.

"Why can't anyone else see you?" She whispered, shuffling further away from him on the bed.

"People can see me" He scoffed. "Bells that's not the point! Let's just stop with the yelling, I hate fighting with you, let's just talk this out" Harry pulled Bella by her calves, dragging her closer to him. "Why are we even fighting Bella? I truly don't understand why you're so mad, all I've ever done is love you. All I've ever wanted is for it to be just us, all the time, you know? Is it too much to ask for that? Is it too much to want you all to myself?"

"Harry, I'm flattered that that's how you feel. And you do have me to yourself - pretty much all the time" She said softly.

"I'm sorry if I get overbearing, I really am" Harry said, running a hand through his curls. "I just, you're all I have, Bella. I can't let anyone take you away from me, I just can't"

Bella sighed, pulling Harry by the arm to lay down with her, she wanted to believe him, she truly did. She wanted everything to be okay again and she wanted those words to have the same effect on her that they would have two weeks ago. But she can only pretend for so long before reality hits and she realises that he is not who she thought or what she truly wants. He had changed - there was this boy, the young boy who she loved, he was a little bit messy and a little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster, just like her. Then there was this man, he was older now and he terrified her. His once lovely words now seemed like lies, he was manipulative and made Bella question everything. She thought he was what made the sun shine but he wasn't, he's what made her eyes water and her heart ache. Harry was the thoughts in her head that kept her up at night, that tore her apart from the inside. She loved him with her all but he was killing her.