He doesn't want me

Chapter 65- Deserve

I looked at Raven my mouth slightly open I gave a quiet laugh "You're not serious" I said shaking my head

Raven took a deep breath drunkeness seems to be easing out of his system

"I'm sorry" he whispered softly looking at my eyes that were slowly fogging with tears I puffed my cheeks to stop tears from spilling

I stood up and grabbed Raven's car keys "Ash, where are you going?" Raven asked standing up I walked past him went inside the car ignoring Rave's words

I started the car and drove to Alpha Xavier's house in a speed that I think would give my mom a heart attack

I stopped right in front of his house I banged my fist against the mahogany door

I wiped a stray tear away before banging it against the door again after a couple of minutes

The door flung open revealing Alpha Xavier in his black pajama bottoms and black tank top "Is it true?" I asked my voice cracking

He looked taken aback but quickly realized what I meant "Look" he said softly as if he's trying to calm me down I shook my head "No. Just tell me" I said half pleading

"Xavier who was at the doo-?" Jenna stopped when she saw me

"I'm sorry I know you wanted to tell her yourself" Raven just arriving from his another car said in a hurry

I shook my head "Just tell me" I said looking at his blue eyes he took a breath and ran a hand through his hair "Yes" he whispered as if saying it softly will make it hurt less

It didn't. Caust it hurted like a blow to my stomach I put my knuckles against my lips a sob breaking out of my mouth

I grasp my chest feeling a surge of pain punch strongly at my heart

I closed my eyes and slumped against the car putting my hands in my jacket's pockets

"I'm sorry Ash, Xavier was supposed to tell you personally" Jenna said

I laughed bitterly "Did you decided to mate before or after you and I talked?" I asked anger awakening inside of me

Jenna shook his head violently "No, we just decided today" she reassured

I looked at Alpha Xavier "I actually thought that you were something else, that you were different" I ranted softly

"God, I'm so stupid" I put my hand against my forehead trying to stop the streaming from my eyes

Suddenly there were hands against my cheeks wiping my tears away I looked up at Alpha Xavier and my heart clenched painfully

"I'm-" I didn't even let him finish "Let me guess you're sorry?" I asked incredulously

He looked at me with those eyes as if those looking at me through those painstakingly gorgeous eyes will make it all okay

"I can't believe that I fell for you in the first place because ever since I found out that we're mate my whole life turned into a suckfest I just don't want to love you anymore" I said

I felt his hands drop to my shoulders "Don't" he warned softly

That just made me so angry "What? You don't want me saying that? Why because it hurts your pride? Well I do I regret ever loving you so go ahead mate her do what you want just go for it" I said

Inching out of his touch I went to Raven who was looking at Jenna longingly

"I want to go home" I whispered trying to stop my lips from quivering

Raven lowered his eyes to mine he nodded "Sure okay well go home" he said with a kind smile

He put his hand in my back leading me to his car Alpha Xavier curled his hands on my forearm I turned and slapped him across the face loving the satisfying sound of my palm hitting his cheek

So I did it again with my other hand and before I know it I was punching his chest and he won't even do anything to stop me "Fight back!" I yelled tears dropping from my eyes like rain "Fight back!" I kept on saying until my knuckles felt too exhausted

I looked at his face hating the fact that he doesn't even seem to be in any amount of pain

"You deserve each other" I told him looking at Jenna who had tears in her eyes "And I mean that in the meanest way possible" I said before going inside Raven's car

During the drive Raven suddenly laughed "What?" I asked he shook his head "I have to go back to Xavier's place later" he said

"Why?" I asked wondering why in hell would he even want to go back to that place

"I used my other car to get there remember?" He said my eyes widened "After all those pent up emotions I actually forgot that I drove there"

"I drived!" I said with triumph trying my best to smile through my tears

We all try to do that to act like we're happy when we are a turmoil inside we just do what we can to get by