TMI - Chapter 43

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Simon is Ryder. Meg repeated the words a few more times until they lost any meaning. Simon is Ryder. Simon is Ryder. Oh, Bailey. She began to cry and hated herself for it. Her heart didn’t understand that it no longer needed to care for, or worry about, or love Bailey. Guess it wasn’t easy to break a lifetime habit. As if she’d heard her thoughts, Bailey swung blue eyes wide with shock to hers and then ran. Meg took two steps after her and had to remind her feet, too, that Bailey was no longer their concern.

Should-haves ganged up on Meg until she reminded her traitorous conscience that she’d done everything — right up to risking her friendship — to make Bailey listen.

“Megan! Meg, oh, honey,” her mother rushed in to the office, crushed her in a hug, but Meg didn’t react. She could only see Simon, flanked by two guards. She searched his face, expecting to find that same old arrogance. But she swore she saw regret there when Bailey ran. So… why? WHY, damn it, why?

Detective Barilla was back. She took Meg’s arm, but Pauline protested. “Mrs. Farrell, you can wait here. We’re not done yet.” She led Meg back to the table in the corner of the VP’s office and shut the door. “Megan, I know you’re upset. But I need to hear the truth from you. Tell me about this video.” She clicked a button on the laptop and again, she heard Bailey shrieking at her to tell Chase. Again, she heard her own voice — bordering right on the edge of hysterical — blurt out her darkest fear. I’ll kill Chase, too!

She folded her arms on the table and lay her head on them. If they could arrest her for thinking bad thoughts, she was going to need one hell of a good lawyer. The thought almost made her giggle. She could just imagine telling Pauline. “Forget college tuition. I’m gonna need you to re-mortgage the house for bail.”

“Talk to me, Megan.”

Talk about what? About the friend she’d lost? What about the boy she was never meant to love? And the mother who cried for her lost love and lost life alone in her room — every damn night?

“I was supposed to be an abortion,” she spoke into the table. “My parents never wanted kids. When my mom got pregnant, she couldn’t go through with the abortion and kept me. She quit school to be there for me. My dad really hated that.” She raised her head, but could not meet the detective’s eye. “I didn’t know it. I thought he loved me.”

She heard Detective Barilla’s sharp breath.

“There’s this show on FOX that everybody at school watches — you know the one with the talking dog?” She didn’t wait for Barilla’s answer. “I can’t stand it. There’s a ‘Meg’ on that show, too, and everyone just craps all over her. ‘Shut up, Meg’ they say. Or, ‘Who let you back in the house, Meg?’ — that kind of thing.” She finally looked up to find Detective Barilla hanging on every word. “You probably think that’s really dumb — identifying with a cartoon character, but…” she trailed off, wiped more tears from her face. “That’s why Chase always calls me Megan. Because of that show.” A sob escaped and she swallowed back the ones that wanted to follow.

“I thought I was so special. He played with me, brought me to daycare, picked me up, even made me breakfast in bed. I adored him. But he had problems. He used to cry a lot. I didn’t know why — I was too little. He told me all the time I had to have a plan for my future because the only person I could ever count on was myself. I needed to get good grades, go to a good school, get a good job so I could be self-sufficient. I thought he was looking out for me. I thought he was telling me all this plan stuff because he loved me so much and wanted to make sure I would be okay.” Meg wrapped her arms around her middle, suddenly freezing.

“It was all a lie.”

She shut her eyes and could almost hear his furious voice all over again. She told Barilla everything, reciting it the way she might read a grocery list.

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