The Blind Alpha | ✓

Chapter 37: Alpha Archer

   I could've had a pup, I left her in her most vulnerable state and now I feel the weight of my consequences. The Moon Goddess gave me a chance of renewal, but I gave up that chance because of my selfishness and I believe that Irene is hating me for it. She must be devastated for losing a pup, even more, that her wolf has gone M.I.A, she doesn't know who to turn to and it's all my fucking fault.

  I punched the bag relentlessly, my newly acquired body had made it easier to punch the bags harder and faster. Sweat lined my forehead as my fists collided with the bag constantly as the wolves around me did the same, but watched me in the corner of their eyes, curious to why I was here and not with my mate. I was meant to learn restraint and I proved that hopefully, it was enough to control, but I felt terrible for my actions and the guilt was eating me alive. 

   I growled lowly as I saw the seams of the bag split and tear from my power, almost breaking under my touch as one fist after another collided with its body. My body cried out to me, my wolf hazy from the dosages, but I could feel its anger for leaving my mate, she could've died if I didn't come, but luckily I did and she didn't fall under my selfishness. All she needed was my touch and that would soothe her pain for a bit so it wasn't to the extreme.

  "Archer, stop" one of the instructors commanded, but grunted in response and hit the bag one last time and it gave way, sand spilling out of the material and fell at my feet. 

  A cool hand had touched my shoulder and I flinched under the touch and I eyed the instructor down. He was lanky for a wolf, shaggy blonde hair and dull blue eyes, but had a hard expression as he stared at me back. 

  "Cool off son, you're too angry. Release that anger somewhere else boy, you should be accompanying you mate," he told me as he let go of my shoulder. I growled at his lack of knowledge, surely he should've known what had happened, the whole bloody pack knows.

   I tried to move away from him, but he moved in front of me and a growl had escaped his lips.

  "I don't give a fuck about what had happened with your mate, but you cannot use our punching bags as a matter of releasing your anger. The more anger you pent up, the less control of your wolf you have. I bet he's growling at you right now." he grunted, I gaze at him, he was taller than me by a few inches, but his stance didn't scare me, nor did his authority. 

  "Fuck off," I muttered, as I shoved him, shoulder to shoulder and walked away from the stupid gym. I shook my head to get some sweat off my hair and I could feel the guys stare on my back as I walked away, but I couldn't give two shits. 

  After I had left Irene for teasing me, but ultimately to show restraint and not have Irene regret anything, my mother had found me in my room and started to scream at me for doing this to her. I was the reason why she was in such a state, I marked her without consent and it had a turn on her, she could've died if I was not there and now, I couldn't believe I had left her. But, I can't change the past, what's done is done. 

  I fled to my small room, sitting on the bed with my head in my hands. I could feel a migraine coming up and I rub my temples slowly, all this guilt, regret and my wolf yelling at me came crashing down and I groaned. 

   'Stop yelling at me Venus,' I told my wolf as he walked around, almost drunk like in my mind.

  'Y-you left her!' he growled lowly and I could mentally feel him biting at me.

  I groaned in response and kept my head in my hands. 

  'I'm an idiot, but I don't want her to regret anything if we had done anything.' I told him and he whined.

  'She wouldn't! Honestly, you're such an idiot. We could've had a pup and now the Moon Goddess may never give us another chance.' he pouted as he padded his feet in my mind and I rolled my eyes.

 'Let's hope Irene's next heat isn't as painful, next time I will make sure I won't leave her.' I told him, smirking proudly as I could imagine Irene screaming my name again and again. Venus hummed in satisfaction. 

  'I would love that,' he smiled.

     The phone was pressed gently against my ear as I listened to my mother rant about how Irene was upset about the whole ordeal. My heart had clenched at her words as she further told me how she completely isolated herself in her room and she had only visited once to see a teary eye, Irene.

  "What kind of boy did I raise!" my mother yelled through the phone, making me grip the phone tighter as I could literally feel my heart dying of sadness. I used my free hand to rub my temples as I sighed heavily.

   "I did not want her to regret everything once her heat was over," I simply stated.

  "Archer, are she would regret it, or would you be regretting it?" she told me. I stepped back, my mind coming into pieces as I've realised I would've regretted it more than Irene. I would've regretted being weak on my knees, I would've regretted doing something under the influence of the Moon, I would've regretted having a pup when I would have to leave her for therapy, I was the one who would've regretted everything, not her.

  Fuck, why am I so stupid?

  "Yes mother, I would've regretted it," I muttered shamefully, placing my forehead on the wall as my wolf barked at me for being stupid. I heard my mother sigh and I could imagine her rubbing her forehead and shaking her head.

  "The question is why?" she responded.

  "Because I felt as if I'm not ready for her." was all I said.