The Quiet Voice | Complete

Chapter 18

They sat opposite each other at dinner the following evening, Jonathan unable to make eye contact with Chelsea, so many things weighing heavily on his mind.

As much as she missed being in Jonathan's company, Chelsea felt as if the man sitting across from her was a total stranger. How could they have drifted so far apart from each other?

"Chelsea," his words bringing her attention back to the dinner table, "we need to talk."

Those four words felt like a pair of hands wrapped tightly around her neck, threatening to tighten its grip at any second.

"Yes Jonathan, you're right," admitted Chelsea, her heart beating faster in her chest. "There are some things that we need to sort out..."

They had both barely touched the food on their plates, neither having had an appetite for the last few days, knowing that this discussion was looming over their heads.

Jonathan eventually took a deep breath and said, "you know that I love you, right?"

"Yes, I know," agreed Chelsea as tears threatening to escape, "but I also know that things between us haven't been right for a long time."

She saw the sadness wash over Jonathan as he agreed with a slow nod, again unable to look her in the eye.

"And I have a feeling that there's something important that you need to tell me," said Chelsea as a single tear escaped and slowly slid down her cheek.

"What do you mean?" asked Jonathan and she noticed how defensive he suddenly became. "I'm not hiding anything."

And yet again he couldn't make eye. His body language speaking volumes, no words needed.

"I'm not sure if you know, but I saw the messages coming through on your phone when you were busy packing your gym bag last night," admitted Chelsea, praying for God to give her the right words. Please God, give me strength and the right words. I don't want my words to come out in anger. I love him so much and can't lose him now.

"What messages?" asked Jonathan, trying to fish out which message she saw. Trying to gauge how to lie and what to lie about.

"All I'm asking is that you be honest with me. Please respect me enough to grant me that much." Chelsea held her pose, not giving in to the emotions causing turmoil within her. She felt angry mixed with intense heartache, as if her world was falling apart.

"I really didn't mean to hurt you Chelsea," confessed Jonathan, looking down at his hands as he fiddled nervously with his napkin. "Things just seem to have gotten out of hand."

Jonathan fell silent, trying to choose his words carefully. He didn't want to hurt Chelsea, but there wasn't an easy way of telling her what he needed to. No way of sugar-coating the truth. The time had finally arrived for him to man-up and tell her everything.

"What things are you referring to? Please be honest with me. Speak to me. I have no idea of what's going on with you." Chelsea felt herself panic and her nerves caused her voice to rise a few octaves as she spoke to him.

Taking a calming breath, she decided to take a more direct approach and ask him about what she'd seen on his cell phone. "Is there someone else Jonathan? Are you in love with another woman?"

"It's complicated," began Jonathan, "I really didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"What do you mean?!" questioned Chelsea. "You didn't mean to cheat or you didn't mean for me to find out? Which one is it?!"

She immediately felt guilty for speaking to him so harshly. It was so strange to be speaking about cheating with Jonathan. She never thought in a million years that he would ever cheat on her.

"I don't even know where to start," admitted Jonathan, looking Chelsea in the eyes for the first time all night. "So much has happened and no matter what I say I just know that I'm going to hurt you."

"There's no easy way of confessing you've cheated," cried Chelsea, "please just tell me the truth about everything, not just a bit of the story. I want the truth and every detail of the story, even if you think that it doesn't matter. To me it does."

"You're right. I cheated on you Chelsea," confessed Jonathan, hanging his head in shame, "and it kills me because all that you've ever done is love me. The messages you saw on my cellphone were from the woman that I'm... seeing."

God please help me be brave. I don't want to break down now. I can't let him see how my heart is breaking right now, prayed Chelsea before speaking again.

"I thought that might be what's going on, when I saw the message," whispered Chelsea, struggling to find her voice. "How long has it been going on for? Why would you cheat on me? Who is she?!"

"She's not a stranger, you know her," said Jonathan seeing the disappointment in Chelsea's eyes. "It's Mila."

Hearing that it was Mila felt like a stake being shoved through her heart. The pain was unbearable.

How could you? Please God say it's all a lie, prayed Chelsea.

"Mila from university?!" Even though that was the only Mila she knew, Chelsea couldn't stop herself from asking.

"Yes," admitted Jonathan, "it's that Mila. But there's more..."

Oh, Lord what more could there be? I can't take anymore.

"Do you remember Abigail?" asked Jonathan slowly, his eyes never leaving Chelsea's.

"Little Abigail from our wedding?" asked Chelsea, puzzled that he brought her name up in the conversation.

"Yes," confirmed Jonathan, "little Abigail from our wedding."

"Yes, I do, but why are you mentioning her?" wondered Chelsea, completely taken off guard.

"At our wedding, before the ceremony, Mila asked if she could speak with me," continued Jonathan feeling very uneasy with the next bit of news that he had to share with Chelsea. "It was then that she told me that Abigail's my little girl."

Chelsea's blood turned to ice and it felt as if time froze. The pain caused by his last confession was indescribable. It would have been less painful had he shoved his hand into her chest and ripped her heart out.

"At our wedding?! You knew before you married me, yet you still went ahead?!" This was too much for Chelsea. She had never before felt such rage and betrayal.

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Poor Chelsea didn't see this coming. How would you have reacted to your husband confessing these truths to you?

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