Never Have I Ever [Larry Stylinson]

Prologue

~You gotta help me, I'm losing my mind~

"It's been too long."

Viktor is standing in front of us, looking amazingly tan as always and showing off his pearly white smile. I smell the familiar breeze of the ocean, and it's only then that it hits me. We're actually here in Dominican Republic. Viktor is actually standing in front of us rather than us video chatting him on a shit computer.

I should be happy to see him, and I am. Although, I can't say that I'm happy to be here. See, I don't want to be here. Out of the five of us, two of us don't want to be here right now. The other three forced us on this stupid trip to try and fix our issues.

As if being here will fix our countless problems. It takes more than two weeks to fix what's been going on between us. The boys thought if we came here, it would remind us why we fell in love in the first place. I'm too furious to be thinking about love. These days, all I can think about is hate, anger . . . pain. I haven't been happy in a very long time; I'm starting to forget what it feels like.

"Aren't you going to give your old friend a hug?" Viktor asks me after having hugged everyone else, bringing me back to the harsh reality that is my life.

"Of course," I force a smile and walk over to him.

I wrap my arms around him loosely, simply giving him a friendly hug. It's only when Viktor hugs me back and starts rubbing my back that I almost break down right in front of him. Suddenly, I'm holding him super tight, and I bury my head in his chest, biting back the tears. And suddenly, it's as if all the pain, the anger, and the hate go away. I have a genuine smile for the first time in what seems like months. I feel happy; I feel like I can conquer what's going on. I start to think to myself that maybe everything can be fixed after all.

That's when Viktor lets me go, and immediately the rush of happiness disappears. I feel like my old self again: empty, and bitter. That's when I realize, there is no fixing this. Being back here in Punta Cana won't fix me and Louis' relationship. I laugh inside my head at the word 'relationship'. Truth is, we're not even together anymore. We broke up. This 'trip' is a pathetic attempt to try and get us back together, but I know it won't work for one very simple reason. Louis and I fell out of love with one another. This dumb vacation is just a stupid reminder of what we once had, and how it is long gone now. . .