Chapter 7

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WHAT A SHITTY month this was turning into.

Three days after being discharged by the hospital, dad phones in and says that your grandfather (your mom's father) suffered from a stroke. Mom was an only child and your grandmother was already gone, dad had a tyrannical boss.

"I'm sorry about this, honey"

You shook your head and put on the best fake smile you could make "I'm an adult now, mom. I can take care of myself, but grandfather can't. He needs you more than I do"

She folded the last of her shirts and laid it in her trolley bag "How did I ever get such a strong girl for a daughter?" Though still dim from disappointment and worry, tired eyes twinkled with pride.

"Getting an F in family planning by forgetting to use a condom" You almost said to help lighten the mood, but instead your artificial grin was replaced by a genuine smile "You raised her well. You and dad, together"

She chuckled, "We did and we're the luckiest parents"

"All parents feel that." You decided not to say most parents.

"Yes. But, honey" She zipped her trolley and gave you her full attention "I don't care if you are legally an adult. You're my baby, and if anything happens to you your dad and I will raise Hell to set things right. You know that, don't you?" She bent down and embraced you. Her familiar vanilla scent reminded you of your childhood years and almost brought you to tears. Life was simpler when you were a kid. You cared less about what others wanted and you didn't listen to reason, when you were a child you were trapped in your own little world where the only feelings that mattered were yours. If only you grew up selfish, maybe you wouldn't be drowning in guilt as you returned the hug.

"You got it all backwards, mom" She pulled back and looked at you with uneven brows. You were going to miss having her here. "I'm the lucky one"

Mr. Luca had to bring you to school so your mom took a cab to the airport. You wished you came with her, after you'd be dropped by next sem so there was no point in attending classes.

However, she would suspect that something was wrong (you were sure she already did, what with those mom senses of hers) and you didn't want to give your family more problems than they could handle. The reality was that love alone wasn't enough, nor was dedication. No matter how much they told you that they would find a way to make ends meet you knew that there was rarely a way. Rarely a favorable way.

Your fingers tightened around your phone. You kept Luciano's card nearby in case you finally took him up on his offer, but you've called him over five times and each attempt ended with you hanging up the before he answered.

During the car ride back to your apartment he said that if you agree to be his pretend girlfriend then you get to choose how much he'd give you in return. You played with the idea, imagined the worst-case scenario, weighed the chances.

It was becoming an unhealthy obsession.

You tried to focus on what Arin was saying and you faked an eye-roll for when she mentioned her current lover—an older man from our building. But you couldn't lie to yourself. You chewed your cheek. Licked your lip. Clenched your fists. Your uninjured foot tapped softly on the campus cafeteria floor.

The clock was ticking and the desperation grew with every tock. You hated hopelessness, it was an ugly feeling that knotted your stomach and squeezed the air out of your lungs. It made you small, powerless. Helpless.

You picked up your sandwich and took a tiny bite. You lost your appetite since the dean gave you the news but you forced yourself to eat otherwise the twins (and your mom) would've picked up that something was wrong.

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