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ALEXA SIGHED. THE room smelled like death. Though she couldn't be exactly sure what that meant, she knew that's what the stench was. It smelled like Alicia (but not really Alicia) getting stabbed repeatedly. However, Alexa knew that it was only bothering her so much because she was sitting right where it happened.
She couldn't sleep. After insisting that Kellin slept on the couch (where Alicia died slowly), she just couldn't get comfortable on the floor. While Kellin and Scarlett slept soundly for the first time in God knows how long, Alexa pulled herself to sit near the window, right next to the bloodstain that no one could get rid of.
It had been just one day since Jasper left. To Alexa, it felt like an eternity. He was the only person that she really spoke to, the one person who tried his hardest not to coddle her or belittle her. Who was she supposed to be friends with now? Scarlett and Kellin were both in their 30s; nonetheless, they just seemed so busy all the time. Frankly, she just missed him. She missed the way he looked out for her, the way he smiled every time she'd ask an unnecessary question, the way he made her feel not so alone or scared all the time.
But now she was scared. She was alone in a room of strangers.
It was the worst feeling. It made her chest hurt and her throat start to feel tight every time she thought about it too much. She wasn't angry, just sad and hurt and confused. She just didn't understand why he couldn't spare her a goodbye; Alexa was all too used to people vanishing from her life, but this was the first time she was never offered a farewell. Because of that, Jasper's disappearance just didn't feel real yet.
Alexa sighed, standing to her feet. The stench was too much to bear. Moving to a different area of the apartment just felt futile and, frankly, made Alexa feel like a prisoner all over again, so she opted to sneaking out the front door. The hallway felt leagues better; even the air felt lighter.
Some liveliness in her step, she aimlessly wandered down the hallway, near the windowsill where she had her first kiss - like she could ever forget that. She had just worked up the courage to talk to Jasper about it before he decided to leave her, so now she was stuck with all these floating questions and curiosities that she'd normally be able to annoy him with. Not anymore, though.
Alexa slowed to a stop by the window. She watched the rain beat against the glass for just a moment, tracking drops of water as they slid down the pane. Another slow sigh slid past her lips. It was unexplainable, but she just wanted to feel the rain on her skin - at least once in her life. She wasn't sure when it would rain again - that was something she'd ask Jasper, if she could. But she couldn't, so she urged herself to take the risk and step outside. Scarlett and Kellin didn't have to know.
