Chapter Fifteen

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When Alex walked past the dining room the next morning he had to smile at the sight in front of him. Jayden sat at the table with a phone in his hand, his breakfast untouched in front of him. He was texting with a giant smile on his face, and Alex only had to guess once to know who was receiving those messages.

There was a time where Alex would have gone up to his brother and ruffled his hair. He would have sat down with his little brother and talked to him about girls and school and make him laugh with stupid stories about nonsense. As much as he wished he could do that again, he had already gotten too close to Carter, he didn't need to be putting more people in danger by being around him. He walked past the dining room and straight to the front door.

The moment the fresh, morning air hit his body it felt like he was a new person. Calm, more attuned to the earth and to himself. He picked up his pace the moment he hit the pavement, his sneakers hitting the hard ground with soft thuds as he ran down the street, away from his problems and towards clarity.

His mind seemed to open up with each step and he kept going, running faster and harder, his feet following the lines of the pavement. His destination was unclear, but that wasn't the point. He didn't mind where he ended up when he stopped running, he just wanted to keep going, and if he could run out of his town for just a few hours he would, but he would probably pass out from exhaustion way before he crossed county lines.

A large part of him wanted to turn into his wolf, to feel the wind through his dark as night fur, and feel the hard earth under his paws, but the mere thought of losing control like that, of allowing his wolf free was enough to scare him. He hadn't turned into his wolf in months, and it was itching at his skin, a feeling of being trapped, yet he pushed it back down. Running in his human form would have to be enough for now.

The sun was warm on his skin as he moved, his hair whipping gently around his face with every step. His mind was clear as he was moving, but he couldn't keep going forever. He slowed his pace to a light jog, and then again to a slow walk as he tried to get his breathing under control.

He couldn't help but think of Carter and the way that things had happened the night before. He hadn't meant to open up so much, it had somehow just happened, and now he had probably confused his ex-boyfriend more than before. He had let his walls come down with every laugh and memory that they shared, and it was hard work trying to build them back up again, and god did it hurt. He felt like he was piling bricks, each made of indifference and secrets, it seemed to weigh so heavily on his heart that he could barely take it.

He was doing the best that he could, it wasn't like he could go tell Carter everything, come clean and expect no backlash. Carter shouldn't know about the things in the dark, because he wasn't able to protect him from them, which had been made obviously clear by Archer and Cole. The worst part of all, was that he was one of those creatures in the dark, and to turn on the light would be exposing Carter to more than Alex was willing.

It seemed like he had an unbearable and impossible choice laid out before him. Carter wanted the truth, but he wasn't going to get it. Alex wanted Carter safe, and the only way to make sure of that was to go with Archer and Cole.

He ran again, pushing himself as fast and hard as he could go. He ran past house, after house, each were big suburban homes filled with happy families, he passed corner stores run by old couples who had been married for longer than they could remember anymore. The quiet, suburban streets were where he used to imagine him and Carter living.

He shook his head and ran faster, feeling relieved as his head cleared and he focused all of his senses on the area around him. He could feel the rough, hard ground underneath his feet and the wind on his skin as he ran. He could smell the fresh air as it raced into his lungs and he could smell the tell-tale smells of the forest.

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