Chapter Twenty

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There was this way that Carter used to look at Alex, he couldn't really put it into exact words, but sometimes they would be hanging out or on a date, and Alex would meet Carter's gaze and he would see that he had already been looking at him, and the way that he would look at him was like the way that a child looks at a superhero, all admiration and wonder. There was something about that look that made Alex's heart swell every time he saw it, and he had thought he would never see it again.

That was the way that Carter was looking at him now, and it wasn't even Alex in his human form, it was of his wolf. Alex had never allowed himself to even dream of being accepted for who he was as a werewolf, and to see the trust in Carter's face and the acceptance, it was something he definitely wasn't planning on seeing. He had figured that he would stay as his wolf for only a few moments, just to make sure that Carter saw him, and then change back into himself. He expected Carter to probably be upset with him, but he planned on just explaining as much as he could.

Carter's reaction shocked Alex, so he didn't change right away, he stayed as his wolf, watching Carter curiously.

Carter didn't even look a tinge scared as he reached out with two, hesitant fingers and gently rubbed them over his paw soothingly. It reminded Alex of when he and Carter used to hold hands and Carter would rub his thumb in circles over the back of his hand. 

"Alex?" Carter whispered, and that was Alex's cue. He transformed back into his human form and looked up at Carter.

"Do you believe me now?" he asked.

Carter nodded, taking a deep breath.

Alex reached over to the couch and put back on his clothing, and after he pulled his shirt over his head he noticed that Carter was just looking down at the ground.

"I know that it's a lot to take in all at once," Alex told him softly, his hand moved out on its own accord with the intention to rest on Carter's arm supportively but he caught himself before it got too far, he wasn't sure how Carter felt about him right now, and physical contact may be a bad move.

Carter brought his gaze up to Alex, and Alex could only describe the emotion in his features as a mixture of curiosity and something that resembled only slight worry.

"I want you to tell me everything," Carter said in a tone that told Alex that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, "no more excuses Alex, I want the whole truth."

"Okay." Alex nodded, sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to him. Carter sat down with only slight hesitation, and angled his body so that he and Alex were facing each other.

Alex had no idea where to begin, he had never done this before, he had never told a living soul about what he was, he had never told anyone what happened in Italy and he never thought that he would have to. He was about to break down every single brick of the walls he had built to protect himself, to protect himself from rejection from those he loves, and to protect those he loves from him.

Carter suddenly slipped his hand in between Alex's own and squeezed tight. Alex turned surprised and confused eyes towards Carter, but all he got in return was total trust and acceptance in the gaze of his ex-boyfriend. Carter knew who he was, but he accepted him, he wasn't kicking him out on the street, he wasn't accusing him of being a monster, he was holding his hand, something so simple that portrayed so much.

Those walls had taken months to build up, it had taken all of his strength to keep them there, and yet they all came crumbling down with that one action.

"It started in Italy," Alex said, and the moment the first words left his mouth he felt a small weight lift off his shoulders. He had been lying and keeping secrets and pretending around Carter for so long and it was such a relief to him to actually explain why, and to tell the truth. "I had been with my father for a few weeks when his internet went down, and I wanted to video call you, but I couldn't so I left in the middle of the night to go find an internet café. I got lost and ran into some bad people, and those people ended up being a wolf pack, who turned me."

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