I wake with a start - another sound. It was Venom I think, she's always up early. Her tail's banging against the wall on the bed eagerly, and she gives a little yelp of joy when she spots I've awoken.
"Come here, Venom! Have you got a waggy waggy tail? I think you have a waggy waggy tail, yes I do!" She comes closer to me and lies down as I run my hand through her jowls. I tickle her chin and she licks me vigorously. Man, this is one cute dog I'm cooing over right now. "Have you got a waggy waggy tail then, Ven? Am I the only one who thinks you have a waggy waggy tail?"
"No, I think you're correct. I'd second that she possesses a waggy waggy tail indeed." A voice says behind me groggily, but with a suggestion of a smile in it.
I flip in shock - I'd forgotten all about last night, so it made me a little scared to find I was sharing a bed with Gerard Way! Also, I am kinda embarrassed that he heard me talking to Venom like that in such a babyish voice. But he finds it quite amusing, so I think I needn't be too embarassed. No, I'm not embarassed...hell no, I'm...I'm... angry! Why would he be so drunk last night?! That isn't healthy, what if he'd go hurt? And then, to just...what...kiss me? Like it meant nothing? Just a drunken act? Well, hammered or not, it meant something to me. I love him, and apparently he loves me. Now I know for sure it's a fucking myth - he wouldn't have got absolutely smashed to prove it to me if he was really in love with me. It's all a load of bullshit, I know it! Urgh, Gee...why do I have to feel this way? It's unrefreakingquited, I can tell.
I rake a hand through my bedhead, glaring up at my messy bangs, then look back to him.
"Oh. You."
"Good morning to you too." He grins, then clutches his head. "Oh my God, my head hurts like hell."
"No surprise, you probably drunk over 50 litres of whatever alcohol you could find. Do you remember what happened last night?" I ask sternly, and roll over to face him properly.
"Hm." He scratches his head. "Well, I remember coming here...and somehow we're in the same bed. Why, did I do something wrong? I don't know why I don't remember much. Maybe I was tired?"
Urgh. So innocent sounding...the tone of his voice calms me down a little though, surprisingly.
So I tell him. About the 'date', how I went to Starbucks with Ember and Mikey (but not about what Mikey told me) and finally about the kiss. I watch slowly as his face drops with horror.
"Sunny...I...I don't know what to say. I remember it all now. Clear as a bell, now you've reminded me. I remember how...stupidly I acted. I can't tell you how embarrased and ashamed I am...I'm so very sorry, Sunshine." His eyes show a familiar sorrow.
"So how did you get drinking in the first place, Gee? Because I certainly don't remember there being any drink but Coke at the movies!"
He puts a hand to his mouth, exhales and looks down at the matress. He mumbles something inaudible.
"What?"
He speaks up after a pause. "I upset you. And that's what I do, when I hurt the people I care about. I try and drink the pain away. Take...drugs to take the pain away."
"Oh, Gerard." I say softly. "You didn't upset me."
Gee looks up, those beautiful hazel eyes now fully glistening with tears.
"Then why did you run away? I did something horrible, I must have done. That's why I went to the local bar, and drunk until I couldn't see. That's what I always do...because I'm such a failure." He shakes his head, and I see the tears fall, wetting the bedsheets. "I'm so sorry, Sunny, for whatever I did. And I didn't mean to kiss you. I didn't want you to know my feelings, especially not when I was drunk --"
FEELINGS?!
He springs up and puts his head in his hands. "Oh God. I've said too much..."
"So it's true? It's not bullshit? Mikey wasn't lying?"
Shoot, I wasn't meant to say that. I do a similar reaction.
"Mikey told you? Well, he was right. It's zero percent bullshit.. I'm going to kick his ass when I get home, but yeah. From the day I met you, Sunshine...I can't describe it. Something pulled me to you immediately - the facts that you're totally sexy, funny, kind, sweet, musical maybe? I don't know. All I know is that...whether I was smashed or not, I wanted to kiss you sometime. Maybe not like that, but I did one day. So much. I'm sorry if I hurt you, I would never do that deliberately. Never. You mean too much."
Silence. And I'm the one to break it.
"Gerard...I can't tell you how much I love you right now."
