I hear Gerard's horn beep from outside loudly, which startles me. I've been staring out of the window for a few hours now, sat on my bed just thinking about Gerard. About Frankie. About Jamia.
I couldn't sleep at all last night, so I got up early. Last night, weirdly, I kind of hoped that Gee would get drunk again...just so that he'd come through my window and hold me tight like Friday. Because that's what I wanted more than anything, last night. Now, the want still hasn't gone. All I want right now is a hug - and especially from my beautiful boyfriend. Oh, I can't believe it! He's mine, he's really mine...but if he's mine, then why am I not as happy as I should be? I should be jubilant, I've got the boy of my dreams...but I'm not. All I picture is poor Frank getting split up with, poor Jamia sobbing in her room thinking that two people close to her have betrayed her, poor Gerard, oblvious to how unhappy I'm feeling right now. These pictures don't really increase my happiness levels, believe it or not.
I move the curtains a little to glance outside. There's his old, battered pick-up. He's leaned against it. From here I can make out his Ramones hoodie, see him looking down intently at something. His hands seem to be sweeping across something he's holding. It looks like a sketchbook from here, but I can't be sure.
Well, whatever it is, I better go. I've been dying to see him since Saturday, so I won't delay this cuddle any longer!
"Later, Mom! Bye, Dad! See ya, Venom!" I yell out as I run to the door.
"Bye, Sunshine!" I hear them reply from upstairs...and a bark, too.
Quickly checking my appearance in the mirror in the hall, I slam the door in my rush. I run down the steps by the patio and realise I must be quite heavy-footed as Gee glances up at me with an adorable grin on his face.
"Hi, Sunny -"
I nearly knock him over with the force of my hug as I thrust myself into his arms. When I look down, I see I was right - it was a sketchbook, and it's fallen on the floor now...as a pencil. Gee doesn't seem to mind though. It has some art on it, I think. But I can't take a closer look, because I suddenly feel myself being lifted up into a fireman's hold!
"Gerard, stop it!" I say, unable to stop giggling despite my sadness inside. "Let me go!"
"Nuh-uh." He laughs, shaking his head. "I need to see how my Mona Lisa, my masterpiece is doing!" Then, he pushes one of my long pigtails away from my neck to see my hickey. "That's good, everything is in order with this example of my beautiful craftmanship. Or maybe this bit needs touching up?"
I give him a playful slap on the cheek. "You call a hickey art? Then you must be the sassiest artist known to man."
We laugh for a while, me still in his arms. When I'm with Gerard and I'm feeling down, it seems like the crippling sadness just...disappears. I can't explain it, really. And yet it's still there, eating away at me. But you have to laugh, or else you'll cry - so laughing is what I'm doing! And it feels good...really good.
Eventually he puts me down and kisses my nose. "You're so light, Sunshine. I don't know how heavy I am, I haven't weighed myself since the 14 Day diet from Woah! Magazine. Cucumber sticks and protein shakes, that was all. I don't feel any thinner but hey, my skin seems really radiant now, darling. Clear as anything, I tell you!" He flicks his hair and sticks out his hip sassily, obviously imitating someone that reminds me of a certain Queen Bitch I know.
This makes me laugh even more, and we're still both laughing when Gee's started the engine. When we start driving though and it starts to get more and more silent, my smile soon goes. I can't stop thinking about Jamia. How would she think I'd do something like that! Oh, if only I'd explained properly! I could ask Gee whether I could tell Jamia about us. I'm sure he'd let me, that he'd understand...we aren't keeping this relationship secret for a serious reason. I care a great deal about Jamia, I don't want to lose her just because she was a victim of a severe misunderstanding! Gerard'll know that, so he'll let me. Yeah. That is, if Jamia even wants to speak to me...
