Wild Magic One: By the Light of the Moon-- A Wolf Shifter M/M Romance

11- Comforting Companion

EDON

I was ecstatic when Lhiam asked me to accompany him, to be by his side for the next two days. That thing I always felt when I thought of him— I wanted to pursue it. I wanted to know what it was. And I knew if I just spent a bit more time with him, I might be able to figure out what it was I felt whenever he was near. Whatever it was, it made me want to drop to my belly and submit, but at the same time, to jump upon him and claim ownership. I wanted my scent all over him, wanted to know what he smelled like aroused, what his eyes looked like as he came.

Gods, I wanted to taste him. I wanted to run my hands, and my tongue, all over his body. I wanted him to claim me, to leave his mark on me, just as I did on him. I wanted to shout to the world that he was mine. That I was his.

And it was all more than I could handle. I had never felt anything near to this, and it was overwhelming.

Especially since it was all impossible. Even if he did feel some kind of physical attraction to me, he was the prince of the realm. He couldn't possibly pursue more than something secret, hidden, carnal with me.

But with each passing day, a bit more of me was lost to him, so I began to believe that maybe I was alright with that. For now. If it was all he could give me, then it was all I would demand. Until I was inevitably forced to give him up.

But something told me that these feelings were only for him. That if I didn't pursue them with him, I would never feel them again.

And I didn't want to give that up. Not even for the fear that still pervaded my body when I thought of someone taking me that way, or the terror that cut off all thought when I thought of trusting him with my heart.

Because trust was not something someone as broken as me was able to give so easily.

Trust no one and they can't hurt you. Physically, they can break you. But your soul, and your heart, were safe. It was a lesson I learned early on, and one I clung to with abandon.

But giving this beautiful man my body was not giving in; it wouldn't break me, so long as I held myself at arm's length. So long as I kept him from burrowing even further into my heart.

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The next morning, I woke at my normal time, but I was met at my door by Lhiam, backed by two guards. One I recognized as Robert, one of the night guards I had spent some time with. He was occasionally paired with Nibley, and they seemed to be friends. Robert smiled and patted my head as I moved to stand by Lhiam.

"You borrowing Lacy's wolf for the meeting, Your Highness?" Robert asked as he dug his fingers into my ears. I wanted to purr as the man's fingers scratched at a sensitive spot just next to my ear. I closed my eyes and pressed against his big palm, before opening them and turning to Lhiam. The prince glared down at me, heat and frustration heady in his eyes. But as quickly as I saw the emotions, he shuttered them, and I wondered if I had really seen them at all.

"He's a good guard, and most barely notice him." Lhiam's voice seemed dull, lifeless somehow.

"He is, sir," Robert answered, seemingly just as confused as me by Lhiam's sudden coldness. "He spends most nights with one of us out at the gates. He's a comforting companion to have."

Lhiam's eyes were on me again, but I tried to ignore him as I walked by his side. I could feel his concern, and his confusion, but I tuned it out. He was wondering why I didn't sleep. There was no way I was going to explore my nightmares with him.

They belonged in my mind, and I could handle them myself. There was no need to drag the prince into my own personal hell.

When we entered the large meeting room, there was a hush of voices as twelve men, all sitting around a large oak table, stood at attention at Lhiam's entrance. The prince moved to the largest chair at the head of the table, ignoring the few whispers around him at my presence, and then sat. I moved to his side, looking around at the men around me. Most were in their mid-to-late-sixties, but three were younger. Only five bore weapons, and from the looks of the calluses on their hands, and the scars on their bodies, I could tell only two knew how to use them. I watched those two closely, knowing they were the only real physical threats in the room. The others would back down if I growled loudly or bared my teeth.

The meeting began when the prince called attention to the room and all of the men sat. Robert and the other guard stood a few feet back from Lhiam, but I remained at his side. A little cushion had been set next to the chair, and I was amused by the simple gesture, musing on how my life had changed so much in such a short amount of time. Most of my life I had slept on wooden floors in dirty inns, or the ground around a fire, and then later on in a cage not fit for an animal. Now I was being given a silky, warm cushion so I wouldn't have to sit directly on the thick fur rug beneath the table.

I sat on the cushion but didn't lie down and rest. I sat up straight, staring the men down around me. I could tell I unnerved a few of the men, but I was glad for that. If they were afraid of me, it would lessen any kind of danger Lhiam was in.

I completely tuned out their words as they spoke of crops, military troops, ships, stores for the coming winter, and various other things that made me yawn more than once. After what felt like an eternity, but what I knew must have been only an hour at most, Lhiam looked over at me, winking.

"You can lay down to rest, Edon," he whispered so that only I would hear. "This is a ridiculously long meeting. You're going to get sore sitting up like that."

I whined quietly, pressing my nose against his hand, and he froze. He watched me, insecurity flashing in his eyes, before his smile deepened, softened, and he gently began to rub at my ears. I sighed, pressing my head against his hand, reveling against his warm touch. His breathing hitched, but he soon turned his attention back to the meeting. He kept his hand on my head, however, rubbing at my ears and gently petting my head. I laid my muzzle on his thigh, wanting to smile when his hand twitched and his body heat shot up. But he didn't make any other motion that the move had affected him. He simply continued to rub my head, down my neck, occasionally scratching at my ears.

I managed to doze a few times, and I was amazed that each time I woke, Lhiam still pressed his hand against me. Even if it was just to lay it on my head. The closeness, the intimacy I felt with him was affecting me. I could feel my chest constricting, and it sent fear down my spine.

I couldn't let him in. I couldn't. I wouldn't survive it when he inevitably betrayed me. When his seeming fascination with a new toy came to an end.