Wild Magic One: By the Light of the Moon-- A Wolf Shifter M/M Romance

18- Healing

LHIAM

I had never felt joy and relief like I did when Edon groaned and then opened his eyes, staring up at me. Two days— two fucking days— of staring down at him, holding his hand, sleeping only minutes at a time, my head pillowed against the cot at his side. I feared I would never see those amber eyes again. That I would never see that soft smile, those hesitant laughs, that beautiful body moving with grace.

And then he was awake, and I was floating. Until I remembered why he was in that bed in the first place. Why he had almost bled out.

For me. Because he was putting his body in danger to protect my life.

It couldn't happen again. And if I had to lock him up in my bedchambers for the rest of his life, I would. He couldn't be hurt again. Not for me. I couldn't be the reason his beautiful life was cut short.

I sent out Robert and Cain, ready to try to find a solution. I would find Edon another job. He could stay by Lacy's side, but neither of them were allowed to go outside the keep walls anymore. I couldn't risk either of them. I would find him another occupation if he wanted. He could train as a healer under Gerard, or work in the gardens, the library, anything that kept him away from danger.

My rage at the men who had tried to kill me, and who had almost succeeded in tearing open my heart by taking my wolf from me, was heady, but I tried to push it away. They had paid with their lives, and I had to be satisfied with that. Even though I wished they had lived so that I could make their deaths long and unbearably painful.

When I was quiet too long, trying to sort through my thoughts, I turned to Edon, ready to explain. Ready to beg him to stay with me, to try to feel for me what I felt for him.

And then his words tumbled out of him in a rushed, devastated jumble, and I wanted to be sick. He was pleading with me not to hurt him, and my confusion was short lived as I realized that he must sense my emotions as well as any animal could, and then I felt only shame. Shame and horror as he continued to beg me, holding back, as if he knew nothing he said would really stop me from hurting him.

How could he possibly think I was angry at him? After what he had done for me?

But the answer was obvious. He felt my rage, thought it was directed at him, and everything he had ever encountered told him that when a man with power over him was angry, they would take it out on him. On his flesh, drawing blood.

"Fucking hell," I gasped, feeling bile rise in my throat.

When he leapt from the bed to get away from me, I felt my knees give out on me. I knew I was pushing myself the last two days, but I hadn't been able to eat or sleep while Edon's life hung in the balance. I had tried to eat the venison stew Robert brought me a few hours after Gerard had finished with Edon, along with a change of clothes for me, and I had ended up retching up the three bites I had managed to force down. The little sleep I had gotten had been disturbed each time Edon's breathing changed, or any part of his body twitched or moved.

When he hesitantly called me master again, I thought my heart was going to break. I grimaced, clutching at my chest. But when I finally managed to get out almost everything my heart was screaming at him, keeping back my overwhelming love for him, because I feared that he would either be scared away by it, or worse, that he would feel indebted to fake the affection back, he was still.

He watched me for a few moments, simply observing as the horridly embarrassing tears poured down my face. Then his fingers were brushing at my cheeks, rubbing the tears away, and he was bringing his wet fingers to his lips. He licked them, his eyes never leaving mine. He leaned towards me, and then he was crawling into my lap. I spread my legs, giving him room, and soon he was curled up against my chest, his head resting on my shoulder, his hot breaths painting shudders across my neck.

"I'm sorry, Lhiam," he whispered, and I bit back a groan. His words were said almost directly against my ear, the vibrations and his hot breath sending jolts down my spine. "I don't know... I don't know why I was so afraid. I know you wouldn't hurt me, I just... For a moment, I was back there, with them, and I..."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around him as gently as I could. I dug my nose into his hair, taking a deep breath in. He smelled like herbs, wolf, and a scent that was uniquely Edon, and the smells had my dick twitching, although I knew in the state I was in, it wouldn't do anything more than perk up in interest. And if it did, it would be sorely disappointed.

"I understand. I'm sorry I was so angry. I should have known it would scare you. I wasn't thinking. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep." I tried to feign laughter, but it came out as a pathetic, almost mewling sound.

He shook his head against my neck, and I felt his lips press against my pulse point for just a moment.

"You are nothing like them, and I am ashamed I thought you were, even if only for a few moments."

I shuddered in horror but nodded. "Thank you, little wolf."

We lay in each other's arms for a few more minutes before Edon pulled away from me, helped me to my feet, lay back on the cot, and dragged me down with him. That was how Gerard found us an hour later— Edon breathing softly in my arms, his head resting against my chest as I clutched him tightly to my body, our legs entwined like a braid. Feeling him safe, warm, and his heart beating next to mine did wonders for my exhaustion, and I managed to sleep until Gerard woke me with a hand on my arm.

"I'm going to remove the bandages, and then you can take him to his room, Your Highness. I'll come visit him a few more times, but he's healed remarkably. Again."

Edon woke with a sleepy whimper, and soon Gerard had deemed him healthy enough to be on his own, and I was carrying him back to the sleeping chambers. But rather than taking him to his room, I dragged him to mine. Gerard and I had dressed him in a simple pair of cotton breeches and shirt, and I held him tight against my chest, wrapped up in a blanket, but I could still feel him shivering against me.

As I moved through the halls, backed by Robert and Cain, who had been part of my vigil since Edon had been injured, but who had both managed to swap out sleeping a few hours at a time, and both had managed to eat what was brought to them from the kitchens, I could feel the many sets of eyes watching me. Most were simply curious, but a few were angry at my obvious display of affection and special attention for an unknown man.

Despite the law being on my side, many in my country, and beyond, would still see my love as an abomination, a crime against the gods, against nature.

They could go fuck themselves.

I laid Edon down on my large bed, ensuring he had enough blankets covering him, before I called for a meal and for my fire to be stoked. The room was freezing, since it had been two days since I had stepped foot inside it. My orders were quickly followed, and soon both Edon and I had managed to choke down a bowl of broth each, and both lay back under the covers, holding each other again.