Lost Secrets (BWWM)

Chapter Seventeen

Warin

Had someone told me a year ago, even a few months ago, that I would discover not only that magic is real but that I have magical abilities and would need to team up with a sassy witch and prepare for the fight of my life against an ancient evil witch, I would've smacked them in the face then used their phone to call the psych ward for them. Yet, here I am; moving shȉt with the power of my mind like I'm fȕcking Jean Grey and falling in love with the feisty little witch who brought this whole shȉt storm down on my life – and I couldn't be happier that she did.

The old me would beat my așs for saying that but as corny as it sounds, Andrea changed me for the better. Every moment spent with her is like finally being able to touch and feel the dream I forced to the back of my mind for so long. I never in a million years thought I would be able to be close to anyone again. I didn't think I could allow my relationships to go passed sex but Dre, as per usual, took the rulebook and kicked it's așs. The feelings I've developed for her in the time we've known each other go beyond anything I've felt before. As crazy as it sounds, I think she's my first love.

If I was the same man now that I was months ago, realizing that would've made me bolt, leaving her high and dry. I wouldn't have cared either. I wouldn't know who she is as a person or even what she looked like passed how she looked naked - and even that would be a fleeting thought. The man I am now is more than a little ashamed of who I used to be. I'm even more ashamed at how hard I tried to hold on to that version of myself. The walls he had built up were impenetrable. They were safe, like the walls of Troy, but Andrea – she's the Achilles to my story. Her and her gift horse of constant support, comfort, and openness walked right through the doors, past my defenses, and obliterated me. I'm positively ruined for any other woman and I don't think either of us would have it any other way.

There is however, the secret I've been keeping from her, and it's been burning me alive holding it in. I don't know if she'll look at me the same after she knows and as of right now that's not a risk I'm willing to take. That look in her eyes, the mix of wonder, pride, and adoration is my energy, it's the battery pack in my back on days when I can't understand the point of getting out of the bed. I don't know what I would do if she ever stopped looking at me like that. I know I don't deserve it, after everything I've done, but I can't so without it. I hate that I've become so dependent on her in that way, but lucky for me if Marion ends up killing us it's something I won't have to worry about.

Speaking of Marion, Andrea has been going a mile a minute ever since she realized we could use a curse to kill Marion. It's not something either of us ever thought about since this type of magic usually has some type of penalty to it. However, desperate times. She's been using every resource her parents left behind trying to find anything that could be helpful and so far we haven't had any luck. A part of me hopes she doesn't find it if I'm honest. Don't get me wrong, I want Marion twelve feet under, but I want to do it the right way. There's so much unknown risk with curses from what I've read and if she's intending to use the same one Marion did then the risk is clear. A life for a life. Sure Marion will be gone but who has to go with her? Me? Dylan? Karter? If the consequences stay consistent, someone Andrea loves will have to die for Marion to be taken off the board and I'm not sure if that's something she could handle.

My seat at the kitchen table feels too small as I stare at the bracelet that started it all. The green, blue, and brown cords are split straight down the center with more precision than even a pair of scissors could master. Knowing the events that led to her going to Marion to get this bracelet makes my blood run cold while simultaneously heating my body. It's one thing to hear about what happened to her but to see, to feel, the events – it's on another level. The night she showed me her pain I knew she loved me. For anyone to walk around with all of that bottled up for so long is unimaginable. I felt so many emotions that night. Sadness for the pain she went through, anger at the asșholes who hurt her, joy for the love she showed me in sharing, grief for the loss of her parents and her innocence, and a number of nameless feelings that passed so quickly into the next I couldn't decipher them. I didn't know what to do so I just held her, it's the only thing that felt right in the moment. I couldn't go kill those two idiots who hurt her and as much as I hate her for taking advantage of Andrea, I couldn't take on Marion if I tried.