Backwards, Forwards

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After waking up to Camillo's half-asleep face, I get up from his hold to let him rest

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After waking up to Camillo's half-asleep face, I get up from his hold to let him rest.

He must be exhausted from staying up all night keeping watch over us how he usually does, and I can't understand why he does it.

"Why are you still awake?" I ask, remembering that Kade is supposed to have the second watch.

"I couldn't fall asleep."

"You should have woken me up, then."

I say the words before thinking them through, but Camillo looks at my curiously. "And why, exactly, would I do that?"

My cheeks burn. It is really unnerving how although Camillo stays awake all night and day keeping watch over the camp, he refuses to lay down; Whenever someone tries their best to get him to bed, he reassures us that he's fine. No one complains, especially Kade who loves to sleep, but I can see through the way he blinks hard late in the afternoon that he is tired.

"Because you're tired. You should let me keep watch."

"Let a girl keep watch?"

A girl?

The taste of that word on his mouth makes my temper rise. Why should gender matter at all?

"Just because I am a girl does not mean that I am not capable." I spit out at him, and he winces at his words.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean, Camillo?"

"It's not very chivalrous for a man to let a woman do his job. That's all."

"His job? Then what is my job? To sit around all day and make dinner?"

I glare at Camillo, not sure why I am directing all of my anger on him. Maybe he didn't mean it, but it still sort of hurts. 

"Of course not. You just don't understand -"

"Once again, I understand perfectly." I cross my arms over my chest. "You just hate the fact that I am just as competent as you are." I huff, and don't even bother to listen to his response as I walk away.

What even is chivalry, anyway?

Before I can ask, behind me, Camillo is sprawled out on the grass behind me, fast asleep.

I roll my eyes at his lean figure, wondering why he feels the need to act so annoying sometimes. Camillo's brooding has oddly grown on me, and I am starting to get used to his comfortable silence. Sometimes, I can decipher bits and pieces of his emotions through his eyes or gestures. Or maybe when the tone of his voice gives him away because something irks him. Do I irk him? I find it hard to believe that he thinks very highly of me. But I've realized that I couldn't see hints of his expressions before because he would not show them to me, and now, for some unknown reason, he is starting to become more comfortable around me.

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