Warmth

Chapter Eleven

CW: suicide.
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Three days later, when Light was discharged from the hospital, it was still pouring buckets. L was still sat on the edge of the roof of headquarters, staring blankly ahead. He was far too numb to do anything. He heard a tapping at the door, but he really felt like he couldn't move. All of a sudden, the door burst open.

"Ryuzaki, why are you still out here?" Matsuda called to him. He did not respond.

"Have you been up here since we left for the hospital?" Still no response.

Matsuda walked over and sat next to him. At first, they sat in silence. After a few minutes of that, Matsuda decided to try talking again.

"You can't just stay out here. You'll get sick. You probably already are, but you should still come inside." L sat silently, never breaking his blank stare at the horizon.

"You can't just ignore me forever." Still nothing.

"If you won't come with me willingly, I suppose I'll just have to drag you inside." L didn't even blink.

"All right; that's it." Matsuda got up and tugged on L's arm. No matter how hard he pulled, Matsuda couldn't seem to get L to budge. Exasperated, Matsuda sat back down next to L.

"Look," Matsuda began, "you can't just stay out here forever. I know this whole thing -- whatever it is -- hurts, but you can't put your own health at risk because of it. I don't know what Light did, but he's extremely sorry for it. That's why he had that panic attack and nearly died. He was so, so sorry--"

"I am never going to forgive him," L said, cutting Matsuda off.

"I'm not asking you to forgive him. All I'm asking is that you just come inside and talk it out. Maybe it'll be good for you. Plus, I really hate seeing you like this. I want to help you. I could help you, if you would just let me try. Please."

"No one can help me anymore," L said, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. "I swore I'd never give my heart away to anyone. I swore I'd never let anyone know the real me. I threw all of that away. I loved him. I trusted him, and he broke me in a way I never thought I could be broken again. I just want him gone."

"And he just wants you near. I've never seen anyone break the way the two of you broke after whatever the hell happened here. Just come inside, please, and try to think things through."

"All right," L agreed reluctantly.

***

Come on, skinny love, just last the year

Light stands on the roof of his complex.

Pour a little salt, we were never here

"I can't do this anymore."

My my my, my my my, my my

Ryuk stands watch as Light takes out the Death Note and a box of matches.

Staring at this sink of blood and crushed veneer

Light drops the Death Note onto the roof, striking a match.

I tell my love to wreck it all

He drops the lit match onto the Death Note, watching as it catches fire.

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

"Goodbye," Light says as he steps closer to the edge.

My my my, my my my, my my

Light is almost to the edge.

Right in the moment, this order's tall

He stands at the edge, beginning to take that first step off.

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine

He hears L's voice in his head: "I love you, Light Yagami! I care!"

And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

He wavers, unsure, as the memories come flooding back.

And in the morning, I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind

He remembers That Night, and the beauty of L's touch.

I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owing all the fines

"Don't, please," says a familiar voice behind him.

Come on, skinny love, what happened here?

"Please. I need you," the voice begs.

Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere

"I can't live without you."

My my my, my my my, my my

"You've done just fine so far," Light replies sadly.

Sullen load is so slow on the split

"Please," the voice begs again.

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine

He turns to L, looking numbly at the broken man behind him.

And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

He runs to L.

And now all your love is wasted
Well then, who the hell was I?

"I am nothing without you," he says as L's arms envelop him.

'Cos now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

They hold each other close, falling into the perfect rhythm of their togetherness.