Fighting First Love

Losing the fight

Dedicated to SecretFreak for her very passionate and funny comments.

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By Friday, things hadn’t gotten any better. Blayne had been growing more and more distant. Our phone calls to each other were fewer and shorter. Though we still spent our school days together, we always had a third wheel, Becca. They both used the excuse that she was still new and hadn’t made many new friends, but that’s most likely due to the fact that she hadn’t tried to befriend anyone besides Blayne. 

It didn’t help that my friends wanted nothing to do with her. They weren’t openly rude to her, other than a few sly comments from Keri and Leah about Becca’s lack of respect for me. The tension between my brothers and Blayne had also been increasing. It started the first day that Becca accompanied them to practice. Lance and Leroy didn’t like the amount of physical contact that was going on between Blayne and Becca. Whether it was an arm slung over a shoulder, a playful slap to a chest, or even the way too long hugs good bye they shared once practice was done, my brother’s were sick of it.

I would come home from work every day to the pair of them hanging out in our entertainment room, shooting the crap out of enemies on the Black Ops game, mumbling stuff about wishing it was Blayne. When I finally asked them about it, they filled me in and had me wishing I never asked. Even though everyone around us could see how wrong Blayne’s actions were, he didn’t. He was still affectionate with me, even though our kisses had been missing it’s intensity, and he still made it clear to Becca that we were together, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was losing bits and pieces of him everyday.

I’ve had numerous arguments with myself about why didn’t I just put Becca in her place and tell her to stay away from my man, but how would that make me look in Blayne’s eyes. Would I come across as an obsessive girlfriend who had no trust in her boyfriend, when he hadn’t done anything yet to earn my distrust? Would he see me as someone who was so controlling, I would purposely force someone he once cared for out of his life, just to soothe my worries? I didn’t want to be that girl. I won’t lie, there have been a few times when I wanted nothing more than to kick him in his head right after I wrung Becca’s little neck. I didn’t understand how two relatively smart people could be so oblivious to the havoc they were causing, just by being close.

What hurt the most was the fact that not once in the past week had Blayne taken my feelings into consideration. Not once had he stepped out of his little Becca bubble to see that his actions were tearing me apart inside. He had me doubting everything I knew about us, about true love.

It wasn’t till my talk with Koa last night that I realized, if I wanted to make my relationship with Blayne work, I needed to fight for him and our love. No, I shouldn’t have to, but Koa made me see that although Becca came across as just an innocent friend trying to get to know Blayne again, if she had any respect for me, she wouldn’t be acting the way she was with him.

Koa said what no one else wanted to say, but thought. “You’re being pathetic.” I repeated his words in my head. Yes, they were harsh, but he said it so tenderly while touching my cheek that I knew he didn’t mean it to be. He was just trying to make me see that somewhere along the way I had lost my back bone and was letting this girl railroad my relationship with my boyfriend.

So today was going to be a fresh start for me. As soon as we got to school, I whisked Blayne away to our favorite make out spot behind the cafeteria and kissed him like I hadn’t seen him in weeks. He was a little shocked at first, but soon gave in to the kiss, kissing me back with just as much passion and unknowingly soothing some of my fears of losing him.