The Step Brother

Chapter 24

HELLO! I guess my updates are yearly now... I know at this point I probably have zero people keeping up with this book but I want to wrap this story up because I actually have a really great plan for a sequel. :) Thank you to everyone that's stuck through so far. You guys rock. 

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The next few weeks were a blur. Imagine your whole globe, everything you had just gotten to know, everything you had just gotten to love - all crashing down simultaneously. My entire existence was being sucked into a black hole, a feeling that I starkly remembered from when my dad had passed. Focusing on my homework was the only way I knew how to distract myself, but as the year drew to a close and the assignments thinned, everything became increasingly impossible to divorce.

My mom was getting a divorce. That one was obvious. Because of all the litigations though, visiting Brenda was hard. Jeff didn't want my mom to see her. Jeff didn't want me seeing her either. Each time I brought the situation up my mom's confusion and disdain were palpable. Without knowing about the promise I had made to Liam, she saw no reason to keep in contact with any portion of our recent past. 

Liam was leaving. In fact, it was the end of May, which meant he had already graduated. Jeff had politely told me not to come to the ceremony. The text message had felt like a sharp knife, slicing through my skin. Both sharp and dull, the pain following the realization that I might never see Liam again knocked the wind out of my lungs and then left a throbbing ache remaining. 

We were living in a shitty, studio apartment. When my mother and I first moved in after leaving Jeff's, I had made a slight joke about how it was "even worse than what we started with". She didn't seem too happy with my comment and I made sure to never comment on our living arrangements again. The divorce was still in the process of being finalized but my mom didn't expect a lot of, if any, money from Jeff. Their marriage had been too short and superficial to warrant anything fiscal. She would have a ring to pawn and maybe some flashy, designer clothes to sell, but that was the extent of our riches. 

Hating the atmosphere that engulfed my home, I spent much of my time with my friends. They all knew what was happening but thankfully they never pried. A part of me was grateful for this, since I wasn't the type to talk about my issues, but the other half knew that eventually I need to tell someone something. Telling my friend's about my mom's divorce with Jeff was going to be fairly easy, but I had no clue how they would react to knowing about Liam. Running scenarios through my head got stressful as I picture my friends getting weirded out and never speaking to me again. Eventually though, the pain got unbearable. 

I was alone with MacKenzie. We were passively watching Gossip Girl while we, well, gossiped. At a point we had run out of "did you hear about's" about "you know this's" and I knew I had to say something. My heart thrashed in my chest and my hands got clammy as I tried to figured out where to start. This conversation had never really been planned in my head so I just took a deep breath and went for it.

"Mac..." I said. She must've heard the nervousness in my tone because her head whipped around and her eyes were patent with worry. I took her attention as a sign to continue. "I've been keeping this to myself for a while now, but it's kind of starting to drive me crazy. Do you promise you won't judge me?"

MacKenzie held her breath and stared back at me. "Ohmygod. Are you pregnant?"

I couldn't even stop the laughter. All the seriousness of the conversation fell away and I easily lost my worry. Even though I knew her question was legitimate, I was no longer scared to tell her the truth. This girl was my best friend, and if I trusted anyone it was her. 

"No no no. Not that," I said once I had caught my breath. "You remember Liam, right?"

"Yeah, of course. Your step-brother." She winced, realizing her mistake. "I mean he was."

"It's okay. But yeah, that Liam." Exhaling slowly, I tried to find the best way to phrase my next sentence. "Well...We kind of had feelings for each other. Like actual, real feelings."

As her eyes widened all my fears came rushing back. What if this was a mistake? What if I should've just kept everything to myself. Reaching out to grab her throw pillow for comfort, I waited for her response.

"I mean... Did your parents know?"

"Jeff found out. I don't think he ever told my mom though. It's all fucked up though."

"Wait, so you still see him?" I could see Mac trying to piece this all together in her head so she could give me the best possible advice. 

"No. That's the thing. We, well mostly he, kind of decided we should never see each other again. I haven't seen him since April and it's-," I paused, fighting back tears, "it's just been the worst fucking thing ever."

Mac whimpered and drew me in for a like hug. My body convulsed with sobs as all the weights of the past few months came crashing down. This was my first time talking about everything I had been going through out loud and even I hadn't realized how much I had kept bottled in. Mackenzie rubbed my back for the next few minutes comfortingly unless my sobs subsided. 

"Brooke... I wish you had said something sooner. I mean, fuck, I knew a lot was going on but I didn't know it was this much. I'm so sorry..."

"No, don't even apologize!" I shook my head, withdrawing from her embrace. "I wasn't ready to tell anyone anyways. I was scared you guys would judge me."

Mac grinned at me encouragingly. "Are you kidding me. I'm your best fucking friend. Also, sorry not sorry, but if Liam had been my step brother I'd wanna bone him too."

"MAC!" I yelled, shoving her playfully. "Not the time!" I laughed as I wiped the remainder of my tears away.

"I know, I know. Had to be said though." Her tone relaxed. "But what are you going to do about it?"

Sighing, I shuffled through my non-existence answers to this question. "I don't even know. He obviously doesn't want to see me. We can't be together. He's leaving for college."

"I think he wants to see you. I think that he just thinks that it's in your best interests to stop," she pointed out. 

"Well, isn't it?"

"Well, what do you think?"

I twiddled with my nails, thinking of an answer. Obviously I wanted to be with Liam but every circumstance, every boundary said no. 

"I guess I just want closure," I finally decided. "We ended so suddenly and it would be really nice to see him for one last time." 

MacKenzie nodded and reached to grab my hand. She squeezed it lightly and I grasped hers back, appreciating all of her support. "I think you should wait then. Let the summer go through. We'll make plans with the guys and we'll do fun things - distract you from everything! And then, a week or two before he leaves, reach out to him. Say you want to say bye and talk for a bit."

Pulling my friend into an embrace, I found myself overwhelmed with relief. For the first time in forever, I was able to think clearly and feel a little happy. "I love you so much, Mac. Thank you."

"Love you so, so much more, Brooke. Don't ever forget that," she whispered back. "And so you're sure you're not pregnant?"

Scoffing, I let go of the hug. "Way to ruin a nice moment," I said, trying my best to sound annoyed as she laughed. Immediately after, we went back to our routine of Netflix and gossiping and for the first time in a while, everything felt okay. 

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FINAL CHAPTER IS NEXT. So happy you guys have stuck through this with me. Hope everyone enjoyed.