Summertime Madness

Chapter Nine: Can My Life Get Any Worse?

I have been crying for the past few hours. When I woke up this morning I was being annoyed by the rings of my phone. I looked and they were all from Him.

For now on he is just going to be known as Him. He has reached the final push, all he likes to do is make me cry. First he leaves, and now he is going to do it again. I am done! If you would go through what he has put me through then you would understand. And lI'm the type of person that gets really attached to someone or something; and I got really attached to Josh...wait I mean Him.

Watch let me take you to yesterday, or this early morning. We were both sitting in the car with a very awkward silence. Then like I said earlier, he started crying. So once again I thought he was going to break up with me; but I was wrong.

We went inside my house after he told me. I didn't really want him around me but he insisted. When we were in the car, after he stopped crying this is exactly what happened:

"Just tell me! What's wrong?"

"I don't want to it's just going to hurt you."

"Josh, please we can't be that couple that doesn't have communication. We need to be th......"

He cut me off and started talking.

"I'm going to the army, I signed up before I came back. I needed a plan B. I didn't think that you were going to love me. I thought you had moved on."

I was totally speechless, I was lost, I was back at the beginning. I was DONE!

"What!? Why didn't you tell me before?"

My voice was shaky, I still couldn't believe my ears, Josh was leaving again; but this time he probably won't come back.

"I didn't want you to worry about me, we were having so much fun in the past few days. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want the mood to change."

"Josh I can't believe you're doing this to me again, you just came back, now you're leaving again HOW COULD YOU!! Josh you know what happened to me, you know about my mom, you know how I was feeling. Josh don't have me continue in my misery, I can't handle any more pain; I feel like my face is too dry, I don't have any more tears to shed. You should've known that I was going to want to love you again."

"What do you mean again?"

"Josh I've loved you since the 7th grade."

"Julie I loved you ever since then too, the way you smiled, the way you used to laugh it was beautiful, everything about you was perfect. I'm sorry babe, I love you so much but I got a letter today saying they are going to pick me up early tomorrow morning. I love you darling, I love you so; but I need to go. And nothing will make me feel better then knowing I'm protecting you."

"Josh I would feel so much better if you stood here with me, and don't you think that staying would protect me better then you being billions of miles away. I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here."

"Julie I never want to lose you, but I need to go, I can't not go. I volunteered, so I cannot back down."

"Josh," at this point I'm crying my eyeballs out, he leaned in and was holding me, carrying me like a baby. "I don't want you to leave me, please don't go, please."

"Babe, I will never leave your side, you will always be my flower in the ashes, when life gets tough I will think about you. You are my rainbow after it rains, I love you so much, but I need to do this."

I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to live in the moment, live with him here with me.

I kissed him, and started drying my tears. Once again WHY was this happening to me. All I was honestly thinking was 'Can my life get any worse.' Can my Josh come back to me safely, can he leave then come back and stay forever; I don't know really but I am going to try not to think about it. I am going to be prepared for the worse. Which I never want to think about. I never ever want to think about it, I say NEVER.

There was one question that kept popping into my head and it was 'Am I going to get my heart broken again?'

If only you knew the question's answer. It was complete madness.