December Boys (BxB) | ✓

Chapter 9 - In Your Shirt

Axel was reading on the couch when I emerged from the shower. A towel was wrapped around my shoulders, my hair was damp, and Axel's oversized t-shirt drooped off my lanky body. There was a cup of coffee steaming on the glass table, and the rain came down heavily outside the window. A warm and content feeling enveloped me as I watched the eerie cityscape past the glass. Everything looked haunted, and lonely streetlights winked up at me from below.

"Thanks for the shower." My footsteps were nearly inaudible as I walked, just a shy tap-tap of socks against hardwood. I tried to ignore the awkward air between us, that perpetual reminder of how unusual this situation really was. I was starting to get used to Axel's silences, though, so pushing the feeling away was easier than I thought. Besides, I owed him civility. This was a huge favor, especially for someone I barely knew.

"Clothes fit alright?" Axel asked.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Good."

Ah, yes. Another riveting exchange. His attention was back on the book now, and I watched him from my spot next to the kitchen island. Axel had left me a change of clothes - all of which were too big - and even put my wet items next to the heater. I owed him big time. I wasn't sure how I felt about that just yet. Owing people favors was something I usually steered clear of.

I stood around for a bit, waiting for some kind of cue that never came. This was normal around Axel, and I was beginning to think it was a personality thing, rather than a Fight Club quirk. Maybe Axel would prefer if I stopped hovering and made myself at home instead. I liked this idea, praised myself for coming up with it, and decided to let loose. I was staying the night, after all, the least I could do was make an effort.

Wandering around the apartment was my first endeavor. Little things I hadn't noticed before quickly popped up all around me. A door on the wall next to the couch was one of these things. I wondered if this was the entry to Axel's bedroom. Axel's laptop was sitting on the coffee table next to his cup, and the leather backpack was on the floor. For the first time, I noticed all the shoes he owned, an impressive collection that was neatly stacked by the door. Apart from those belongings, there were really no other items that told me about Axel. Odd, I thought.

"Hey, mind if I get something to drink?" I asked over my shoulder. I had made my way to Axel's kitchen and was in the process of inspecting his cabinets. A tall one over the sink revealed a neat array of cups behind a glass door. I yanked the door open and swiped one off the shelf. Another swift movement turned the tap on, sending fresh water splashing into the sink. 

The water probably tasted premium up here, luxury apartment and all. I wondered if rich people got their stuff from better lakes than us commoners. I suddenly realized I'd forgotten to check what kind of toilet paper Axel used. He was probably accustomed to the fancy kind. I made a mental note to check before I went to sleep...

All at once Axel's palm connected with the cabinet door, slamming it shut.

I ceased all movement, freezing in my tracks. He was there now, behind me, looming over my shoulder. I could feel his body pressing against my back, and the air grew heavy around us. I barely felt it when my cup was full and water began trickling down my hand. Axel was warm and smelled like coffee.

"Careful," he muttered, breath ghosting against my cheek. "Don't break anything."

He was so close I could feel his words on my skin. An electric current zipped through me, starting at the point where his chest met my shoulder, traveling through my nerves, and ending in my fingertips. I shivered, nearly dropping the cup. The statement hung between us, a warning and a secret. Something that existed only now, and only between the two of us. No one else had witnessed this exchange.

"O-okay," I squeaked, voice failing me.

And he was gone again, just like that. The warmth disappeared, the atmosphere returned to normal, and Axel sidled back to his couch with hunched shoulders. I watched him go, eyes wide and ears burning. Judging from the way he went straight back to reading, it was as if nothing had happened and I imagined all of it. The world had been paused for a little while, and the only proof I had was the wild hammering of my heart.

I filled up my cup with a shaky hand - I really had dropped it at some point - and took a modest sip of what appeared to be perfectly normal tap water. A fuzzy, electric feeling remained in my limbs.

That was weird.

"You can sleep here," Axel said as he turned his couch into a sophisticated sofa bed.

I couldn't do much but watch while he arranged my sleeping quarters for the night. He made the makeshift bed in perfect black sheets and brought out a soft comforter plus some pillows. Axel said little else while he prepared the bed, and standing around watching him was getting kind of awkward. I turned away, chewing at my nails.

All he offered me was a "G'night," before he shut himself in his room. I was left to my own devices once again, more confused now than ever. Sitting down on the bed, I soon threw myself back so I was sprawled on top of the comforter. I contemplated my situation. There were no stray magazine or old socks hiding under the covers here, and there were no laundry piles scattered around me. Axel's place was nothing like my place.

I rolled onto my side and stared out the window. The city lights blinked back at me, signaling that the world outside was still awake and moving around. Neon signs from bars and 24/7 stores lit a way through the winding streets, and the reality of it rendered me uneasy. People down there were drinking into the small hours, someone would sleep under the stars tonight, and my mother had gone to bed angry.

Most of all, I couldn't sleep because of Axel. Although he was in the other room, hidden from view and probably fast asleep, I could feel his presence through the walls. The apartment felt cold, and Axel was a shadow. 

Closing my eyes briefly, I wondered how he could live here. I had kept asking myself that while we worked earlier. There was nothing here except bare walls, empty cabinets and a boy who was alone with his bruises. 

Then there was that moment in the kitchen. My heart stuttered again, a nervous little jump in my chest. I clamped a hand over my ribs, willing it to calm down. Axel's t-shirt smelled like dry-cleaning and something else. I hadn't been around him much, but I realized that this must be his scent. It was all over me, from the clothes I wore to the comforter I had borrowed. Confusion rolled around in my head, a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and something like fear. Axel's voice echoed faintly in the back of my head.

"Careful. Don't break anything."

That night I fell asleep to the quiet simmering of the refrigerator, and my dreams were filled with shadows.