Mhorfell Academy and the Night Stealer (A Spin-Off) [Book 3]

Chapter 5: Divine's Answer

Chapter Five: Divine Answer

[Trigger Warning: This chapter contains text and description of the protagonist's suicidal urges that could possibly make some readers uncomfortable and disturbed.]

I OPENED my eyes with the tears of the sky, and mine caught on my lashes. Somehow, they felt heavier than they are supposed to be. Too heavy that I could only raise my lids for a second, and then I'll have to close them again. It's an unending loop of seeing the world outside and the other. The only matter is that when you open your eyes, you're left to stare at the inevitable image, but when you close them, you're submitting yourself to be embraced by it. Either way, there's only one thing to see— Darkness.

At kung papipiliin kung aling kadiliman ang gusto kong kaharapin? Siguro 'yong nakapikit na lang.

Pinulupot ko ang mga kamay ko sa harang ng balkonahe at sinilip ang unang palapag. Gusto ko sanang sukatin ang agwat nito mula sa kinatatayuan ko pero sa lalim ng gabi at ng malakas nang bugso ng ulan, para akong nakatitig sa walang hangganang kawalan.

Mas bubutihin ko pang nakapikit nang tinatanggap ang katapusan kaysa ang nakadilat nang may inaasahang pagliligtas.

That reminds me, I never really got to ask Alex or any OBD victim, for that matter: How does it feel to die? Was it anti-climactic once it sinks in that you no longer have to think about tomorrow? Could any pain vanish once the abyss takes you in its arms? How would you describe the disappointment of being revived to life after you just escaped from its claws?

"Should I try?" I whispered weakly. "It's not like it could get any better from here on. What good would even come once you're alone and alienated from the rest of the world?"

Mas sinandal ko ang bigat ko sa harang. Sa unti-unting pagsuko ng katawan ko rito, parang kinulob ng malaking bula ang buong ulo ko. Parang binuo ng hangin ang bula at tatangayin ang ulo ko sa kahit anong oras. Imbes na matapalan ang trumpeta ng pagbugso nito, dumagundong ang bawat patak ng ulan na tila ba may ilang dosenang kataong bumubulong at iba-iba ang awit na sinusulong.

"Jia... even at this moment, that 'someone' won't come, huh?" I grumbled exhaustingly. "I literally have nothing now. Not that I have anything before, but I want to cling onto that tiniest hope that they do."

Anong saysay na iniligtas pa ko kung puno lang din naman pala ng rason para mamatay ang putanginang buhay na 'to?

Tumingala ako bagama't nahihirapan pa ring dumilat. "Isa lang naman 'e," sumbat ko at itinaas ang hintuturo ko. "Ang damot mo naman. Isa lang naman ang kailangan ko. Isa lang."

Sandali kong pinagmasdan ang kalangitan, nagbabakasakaling sagutin ako nito kahit ngayon lang. Pero nanatiling mga luha lamang nito ang natanggap kong tugon. Ano 'yon? Ito ang sagot? Awa?