Deal • REWRITE • BOOK 1

25; Flight of the Stars

"The only time the word püssy will ever be associated with you is when it's mine, and it's either on your face or being fücked by you,"

A R I A

"That's Emily's niece, Chloe."

The words I spoke felt as if they echoed around the room as I stared down at the severed head on the floor, my body completely tense with my muscles that all locked into place and left me standing still.

Lucien's arms around my waist did nothing to warm me when I felt the ill feeling within me overwhelm me in waves, the cold like stabbing pain tightening my chest and leaving me swallowing harshly when Lucien said my name.

"I don't..." I trailed off, completely unaware of what I wanted to say when the smell of burnt flesh mixed within the metallic of the blood permeating the air, my brain frazzled along with the way I felt completely numb despite the way my senses were heightened.

I could hear the pulse of my heartbeat echo in my ears and the sick feeling knotting in my stomach grow...my palms beginning to ache from digging my nails into them whilst my mouth was completely dry from the sight of what I was seeing in front of me.

"Aria..." Lucien mumbled with a sigh when I moved his arms away from me, my body feeling like it was floating at the same time my muscles felt magnetised to the floor.

I couldn't think, but I could hear all my thoughts.

I was hot but cold.

I was angry but devastated.

I was calm...too calm.

"Aria, we need-"

"Don't," I breathed out quietly, tugging my hand back from Lucien's as I turned to him. His face was scrunched in all sorts of emotions, but the one that showed most was the anger that tensed his shoulders and clenched his jaw.

I knew the threat Joe had focused on me wasn't one that Lucien was going to take lightly considering the situation, his hand that reached out for me once again cementing my thoughts and validating them further when he exhaled sharply and watched me rub around my wrist that I held close to my chest.

"No," I said to him simply whilst my breaths quickened, my tone acting like a smoke screen to what I was feeling inside when I glanced over at the head on the floor, a wave of nausea passing through me in turn.

Blonde hair was matted with the blood that was currently clotting within the letters cut into Chloe's small forehead, the metallic smell only emphasised when a piece of my own blood covered hair curled next to my face.

Just the scent was starting to become sickly when I inhaled and scrunched my nose, the sight of a severed child's head leaving the sick feeling within me to bubble dangerously in my stomach as I pressed a palm over it and felt myself inhale sharply. Nausea gurgled around along with the hated feeling that always accompanied the reminder that I would never have my own kids, the sudden pained breath that left me lips creating a hollowing feeling in my chest just as Lucien spoke up.

"I know you don't want to speak right now," Lucien spoke, struggling with the soft tone he was trying to use as I met his gaze and felt a familiar feeling creep up on me, the fuzzy edges of déjà-vu only growing stronger as he spoke words that I'd heard before in a similar situation. "...and that's understandable with what you're probably feeling but-"

Lucien stopped speaking when my mood suddenly flipped and I was scoffing at his words. He looked confused whilst trying to supress the irritability that I could see flare in his eyes, his words only echoing between us as the numbness inside me slipped away and revealed everything I was feeling when I reacted and felt the heat of defence burn my blood.