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note: double update weekend! There's one last chapter till the end of part 4. Happy reading xx


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London's meeting with Chris went incredibly well. It went so smoothly, without any bumps or little problems, that London worried. Chris was incredibly sweet, the same perky and energetic man she'd known back in her university days. He was different too. He'd lost his studded earring, wore a touch of makeup now and was more in touch with himself. She admired the change.

His husband, who was five years older to the both of them, had opened a restaurant and was looking for a chef. It so happened that London ticked off every box expected of the chef and she had managed to secure herself a one-to-one interview with Rico, the owner of the new restaurant and husband to Christopher Xang.

Catching up with Chris made her day all the more enjoyable. She told him why she dropped out of university, why she cut all contact. It was getting too much for her — she needed an out, even if it was for a few days. She needed more than just a few days because years later — four years later — London was finally beginning to find her footing.

Now, grasping a fresh bouquet of yellow tulips, she made her way into the cemetery to meet her mother. When she got to her mother's grave, she dropped down to her knees and placed the flowers gently at the base of her mother's grave.

"Hey Mum," London greeted, laying down a small chequered blanket that she had tucked under her arm. She sat down on the mat, looking at her mother's grave and for the first time in a long time she did not feel the urge to cry.

"Gwen and I finally talked," she told her mother. "Gwen finally came around and we talked and it was great to talk about it without someone who understood. I tried going to a therapist but with money scarce I couldn't hold up my sessions for too long. And I told you this earlier, I didn't want to burden dad or Gwen so I didn't reach out for any financial aid to get better. It was great, Mum, talking to Gwen."

She paused, trying to search for the right words. "Gwen and I drifted apart since your passing. I thought it would bring us together, that Gwen would understand the pain that I was going through, but she didn't because her pain was on a different scope. I've been talking to her a lot lately and to be honest, it's helping."

She bit down on her lip, trying to arrange her jumbled thoughts. "It wasn't my fault. Neither was it Dad's or Gwen's. We should have reached out to you, talked more, connected more. But we didn't. I want to use the excuse of it being Christmas break and Gwen and I finally getting a break from our hectic schedules, but it's not. Despite what we should have done, it's not our fault. Maybe things would have turned out different if we had, maybe things would end up exactly as they are now — time is a peculiar subject, I don't know what would have happened if we'd been more cautious and more receptive to you.

"What I do know is that you're dead. You're not coming back. And I've got to put on my big girl panties and accept that fact. Life's not going anywhere if I'm stuck in the past, obsessing over what could have been. I should look to the future, live in the present. For once, I'm trying that."

London gave out a shaky laugh. Though the urge to cry was not present, she felt her throat clog up with emotion.

"I met a guy. Oh right, I bumped into him a few weeks ago and that's why your flowers were ruined that day." She laughed again, this one sounding livelier. "He's not what I expected. Newly divorced and he is dealing with a few issues of his own and I know I don't need complications in my life, not when I'm trying to figure things out myself, but there's something about him that I cannot resist. I don't know if it's that charming smile, that caring nature or the fact that he actually listens to me. He's a good man with a big heart and I'm only just getting to know him but I really like him, Mum."

London smiled. "I think you would have liked him too. He's funny. He's not ridiculously hilarious or anything but he makes these small comments and you always end up either laughing or smiling. He's funny in that cute way."

London closed her eyes, remembering two nights ago, when he kissed her. First a feather soft kiss and then followed a hard kiss that reeled her in and hooked her. His lips were amazing, his tongue was amazing and just thinking about that kiss made her yearn for him, made her look forward to the next time they would meet, which she hoped was soon. He'd called her just a few hours ago, to wish her luck for her interview today, but they couldn't meet up until Thursday for lunch because this week was busy for him.

Another thing that London learned about Andrew Cai was that he was dedicated to his work life.

"I met Chris again," she continued relaying her week. "You haven't met him but I'm sure I mentioned him once or twice. He was one of the few good friends that I had at uni. He got me a job interview. For the position of head chef. I might just make my dreams come true today, Mum!"

Gushing, because London could absolutely not hold in her excitement, she fell back on her blanket that lay on the hard ground and stared up at the clear blue sky. Thank God it's not raining, she thought as she smiled. Today was her chance to change her entire life. This could be it. She could be a real chef, a head chef, and she could have her very own sous chef and she could decide on menus and she could get a better pay and live a better life and perhaps start saving—

She laughed thinking of the good prospects this job would bring her.

Sitting up and dusting herself down, she folded the blanket and tucked it back under her arm. "I'm going to be late if I stay any longer and I want to make a good impression if I want to get this job," she said, smiling down at her mother's grave. "Wish me luck!"

With that London was off to the location Chris had texted her, nervousness rumbling in her stomach and excitement coursing through her veins. 

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