We at "Running with Scissors" would like to make the following public apology:
We intentionally and deliberately made a misleading statement in the last chapter. It was not a mistake of our part, as it was carefully crafted and thought out to make you turn the page and read the next part of the story. We are not ashamed about it, but we still feel the need to apologize to our readers for violating the Narrator/Reader trust the way we did.
In the cliffhanger of the previous chapter, we stated that Peter Katz began to escape on a truck "full of dead bodies," which was a deliberate misrepresentation on our part in an effort to raise the stakes of the story. In fact, some of our more careful readers might've noticed that there was, in fact, only one dead body in the truck at the time of the incident, one girl formerly known as "Annoying."
You can hardly call that "a truck full of dead bodies," can you? But we foolishly tried to embellish the story, and we are sorry for that. The stakes are already high enough as it is without us trying to add to the pile. He was already driving without a license, was in possession of a snake without a permit, and had a barely legal dead girl with him while dragging a beloved piece of private property in a mostly stolen vehicle.
If your experience with this story has been tarnished in any way or form by our indiscretion, please send us a sealed envelope at 236 West Newton Street, Zebet Delta, Alfa Centauri, and we will send you a limited edition "Running with Scissors: The Board Game" holographic playsets with blood filters activated so you can enjoy it with family and friends alike.
In the spirit of transparency, we shall not amend the previous chapter to correct this mistake. Not only because it makes a nice segway into this chapter, but because we want you to be aware that we are not perfect in any way or form.
With that out of the way, please enjoy the wacky antics of funny lawyer man.
Philadelphia is one of the greatest bastions of historic Americana that still stand to this day. Home to beautiful buildings dating to colonial times and even older, it's one of those cities that exude historic richness. It is also home to one of the most American foods a person can ever achieve to ingest: The Philly Cheesesteak.
Like most Americans, the Philly Cheesesteak is almost mundane and definitely crass, but packs a lovable punch that makes you want for more.
Invented by brothers Pat and Harry Olivieri in early 1930s, the dish consists of a hoagie roll stuffed with beefsteak, and melted with provolone cheese on top. It's rich, savory, and one of the things most Philadelphians won't shut up about if you ever bring it up. They're like vegans in that regard, if their vegetables were made of cheesy meat. Meagans? Let's call them meagans.
The most famous—and arguably delicious—Philly Cheesesteaks in Philadelphia are crafted by Pat's King Of Steaks, a restaurant founded by Pat and Harry Olivieri, the aforementioned inventors of the Philly Cheesesteak.
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Running With Scissors
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