The Revelation Of The Writing On The Wall: Scribblings Of War & Peace

All That Cap'n [Lying]

As I'm lying here, the voices yell and laugh so loudly. Yes, you heard correctly, I heard voices!  The darkness of the demons breathe and of myself manifested into one big consuming mouth of depression, anxiety, disease, unresolved conflicts and relationships that weren't healthy. Have you ever been so insecure that you believed every person you loved would hurt you? Every person you ever knew would betray you? This will cause you to scratch head then your butt. I was trapped while more shackles formed. There were three around my neck. Within a world of funk, filth, and evil, they made me believe I was stinky. As I recognized that many people would cough very loudly, yell disgusting things, whispered slanderous rumors and laughed hard after I pass or come around. This "smell" carried to up to fifteen miles seemingly. People would rub their noses hard, huff and puff, and eventually run away from me. I would get blank snarky stares. I was baffled to find something in the mess. Searching the internet. Later then joined groups of people who were going through such similar occurrences. I wanted to kill myself. I didn't try since I knew better. The Lord will never forgive for it. As I searched endlessly to have found a term, called Trimethyaminuria- TMAU which is a disorder better known as "fishy odor syndrome" that causes a strong body funk. It's a rare metabolic disorder that causes a defect in the mutation of FM03 (flavin containing monooxygenase 3.) When the mutation is not working properly it will cause the fishy/musty smell. Anywhere also at my apartment, I hear these voices and noises through the walls.  For a while, I didn't see what was really happening. I began family, friends, and strangers if they smelled anything. Each person told me no! Some have said, "I have never smelled you." Others told me "I only smell powder and perfume." A few said, "That's all in your heard." Now, something just isn't right. What's going on? I would lay in my bed at night, cry myself to sleep. Constantly holding my tears back behind the smile. My heart waxed cold, completely froze over. All of the harassment and ridicule PLUS the anger and pain. The Lord showed me that satan was burying me alive. And I let it happen! He and his demons encircled me every chance they got. It's just like a gang of bullies. I live smack in the middle of an apartment complex where all people were used to torment me with the fears I already had. The lies I believed and unforgiveness I had in my heart caused my own blood to cry out.  Unaware of the many insecurities of myself. Began to ear so much that it only would calm the stress. The satan wanted me to focus on everything but my spiritual health which is far more important. The unseen world. It was all my fault that I did not realize what was happening. I left Jesus, I let go of His hand. I pushed Him away. I called the Lord a liar. Stomped and killed him again. All along He still kept me, I never deserved it. I never wanted to be kept. He loved me still when I didn't want His love. I searched for love of the world, partners and family or friends. Jesus protected me when I was poisoned. When I was lied on, harassed and followed to and from anywhere I went. He fed me when the refrigerator was empty. All that Cap'n! Just before the enemy slapped a seal on it, the Lord I once knew and loved came to speak for me.  God, I pray that Your Glory shines forever on me. I had to learn that I couldn't do anything apart from the Father. Absolutely NOTHING! All of this was simply showing me the spiritual battle manifested in this earthly realm in which I was living but caused dead in my spirit. Hallelujah! Let the God of all fight your battles! It is not for anyone to figure out but is about trusting the Lord to guide you on through. You can be attacked at any given time. LORD, I will surrender this over to you. Negativity and darkness have no power over me NO MORE!

[Swipe left to view the TMAU video behind the photo at the top]