WANTED! & LOVED

Unaswered Questions

-Logan- 

Life is so unfair. People weren't kidding when they say life's a bitch, it is. Life's a cruel, sadistic bitch who's best friends with fate, a fucking twisted harpy who revels in the misfortune of people and their suffering. I would have thought after all I've been through in my life, now would be the time for me to experience some happiness. You know after all the hard balls life threw at me, all the obstacles I faced, the suffering I went through, you'd think life would say 'yeah he's had enough'. 

Maybe life did take pity on me, with the time I had with Cole. I did find happiness with him, but it was too short, it wasn't long enough. It was like giving an alcoholic a taste of the finest wine then denying him the bottle when he thirst for it, teasing and cruel. When I first saw Cole I'd seen it all. Our lives together, us always being there for each other, happiness, love. He was my mate, my other half. The part of me that was missing for so long. I had all that in my arms, in my reach and just when I thought everything was looking up, fate swooped in like the twisted hag she is and took it all from me. 

Fuck what the hell am I suppose to do now? I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to be in this world anymore. Nothing here holds any worth for me. What am I suppose to do in a world that's now colourless?

I don't know how long I was in the clearing but it must have been hours, because when I actually acknowledged my surroundings the sky was dark. The stars were bright shimmering like glitter on a black canvass. Without the harsh lights of the city, they were free to display their bright radiance. This was such a beautiful night. A night I would have loved to take Cole out on just to lie on the grass and gaze upon the stars with him wrapped safely in my arms. 

Oh he was in my arms alright, just not the way I wanted it. Not like this, lifeless, pale and cold. I couldn't bring myself to let him go, Leon had wanted to take his body away but I wouldn't let him. I can't let him go. I just...he just...he can't be gone. What am I to do now? 

I felt the tears threatening to spill once again as all my emotions released a flood within me. Rocking back and forth with Cole's body now in my lap, my arms wrapped around him tightly, I cried.

I heard the footsteps as the others entered the clearing after fighting for so long. I stayed where I was my head nestled in the crook of Cole's neck as I tried to control my sobs as the shook me. I could faintly smell Cole's unique scent, a mixture of nature all woodsy pine and mint. I remembered the first time I saw him, in the clearing. The way his scent seemed to hypnotise me so I was walking towards him without even knowing. The possessiveness and happiness I felt when I realised he was my mate. The love that was so overwhelming it made me determined to make him mine. 

"HE'S WHAT?!"

"Shut up Kaiyd! Do you not see the man grieving over there, Cole's dead!" Leon whisper yelled at Kaiyd. It didn't matter he might as well have yelled the words for how clear I heard them I wanted to turn and tell them that he wasn't dead, he was merely sleeping. Yeah...he couldn't be dead.

It didn't matter how many times I told myself that, a part of me knew that Cole was really gone and sooner or later I was going to have to let him go. 

"Don't tell me to shut up half breed! What the hell are we suppose to do now huh? Our only hope of  ever winning this god damn war is lying there more lifeless than a door nail and a door nail can be useful." This time I did acknowledge them as I growled at Kaiyd's not so subtle way of saying Cole was useless to them now. How could he be thinking of some war when my mate was lying here lifeless?