Forced To Be

First Time

May was laying on her tummy on the soft baby mat, gurgling as she tried to push herself up on her elbows to peer out of the living room window.

I chuckled at her efforts, surprised by even her little bit of strength because she had been so young for the past several days.

She fell flat on her face and started to cry out of surprise. I was quick to scoop her up and tuck her up under my chin.

I cooed to her as we walked around the bright room, bouncing gently. As the fall was not anything dramatic, May calmed down pretty fast, resorting to sucking on her thumb as she peeped out from my chest to catch a glimpse of the hummingbird that was just beyond the windowpane. It fluttered around the feeder I had put out there a couple of days ago, drinking the sugar water as it went.

I grabbed one of her pacies that was sitting on the shelf near the window and popped it in her mouth. It bobbed gently as May squealed around it, reaching out her small fists towards the glass.

I couldn't help but be surprised by how young of a headspace she had fallen into, especially after the struggle of the first few weeks. I guess it just proved how much she needed it.

May curled back under my chin and nuzzled the warmth of my neck. It was times like these that I enjoyed the most: when she was completely comfortable with me as her protector and daddy.

As it was such a trusting time for her, I had decided that morning that today was the day that we would try our first session of breastfeeding.

I had been taking the pills for a few days but had been waiting for the opportune moment.

Moving over to the couch, I settled May across my lap, belly up. She giggled and reached up to pat my face. I chuckled in response and gently tickled her sides.

May scrunched up as she squealed, trying to protect herself. This went on for a few minutes before I stopped and let her catch her breath. She was panting quite heavily and her pacy had escaped her mouth and was resting on the couch.

"Alright, sweetheart," I said to her as I unbuttoned my shirt.

She gurgled again, reaching up with her small little fists towards my chest. It made me so happy that she got so excited to be close to me. 

May's little face scrunched in confusion as I brought her face up to my nipple and gently pressed her lips to it.

"Come on, darling," I cooed, "You know what to do."

After a little while and some anxious eye contact, she slowly leaned forward and took my nipple into her mouth.

The feeling was strange, foreign, but May's response made every little bit of the uncomfortable process worth it.

She squealed in excitement as the milk poured into her mouth, but never moved from the nipple.

Her fists bounced quickly as she flailed her legs in happiness. Her gentle kicks sent us into a nice rock.

My sweet, little, baby girl.