"This isn't funny, Keefe, why are we in the same bed?" Sophie shrieked, her hair like a rat's nest on her head.
"I don't know, Foster, but why are we so grown up?" Keefe yelled back, his eyes wide as he felt his torso.
"Mom?" asked a little girl, s...
we're trying for twice a month now, y'all better be grateful-- *record scratch* if the chapters get shorter or worse or something please let us know, we're always ready for constructive criticism or whatever it is they call it
happy reading, maybe we'll finish this book before y'all turn thirty now
~anna
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Sophie's POV:
"You know, fainting twice in less hours than that can't be good for your health," reminded Keefe as I paced across our bedroom furiously. "Maybe you should try the whole 'bed-rest' thing that Elwin recommended?"
"I'm a Pyrokinetic," I said again, running my hands through my hair and probably looking half-insane. Well. Maybe more like three-quarters.
"I know," said Keefe, sounding more than a bit concerned. "You've told me. Multiple times."
"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation, Keefe!" I snapped, finally stopping my pacing as I whipped around to glare at him. My hair smacked me across the face which ruined the effect a little, but I wasn't worried so much about that.
"If I'm a Pyrokinetic in this universe, what if I'm a Pyrokinetic in ours? If I killed Edaline in this universe, what if I will back home? If-" I was almost in tears before Keefe cut me off, looking at me with so much sympathy it made my chest hurt. I didn't ask for his sympathy. I didn't want his sympathy. I didn't deserve his sympathy.
"There's a reason we're calling this an 'alternate universe,' you know," said Keefe softly as he patted the space on our bed next to him, inviting me to sit down. "Because it's not real. None of this is real, nor will it ever be real. In fact, it's probably the furthest from reality that it could get. Real isn't real and unreal and-"
"I'm going to stop you right there before it gets too confusing for me to follow," I said, forcing a smile on my face that was only half-false. Keefe had somehow figured out a way to always improve my mood, which was something I greatly appreciated most of the time. Sometimes it was a bit too much, but at least he seemed to understand when to back down. Perks of being an Empath, I supposed.
I sat down on the bed next to him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer into him. My heart was beating so fast it might burst out of my chest in seconds, and I desperately hoped that he couldn't hear my breathing quicken.
I suppose that in hindsight, I should have been worried about him feeling all of my emotions spiraling.
Keefe's POV:
What is she even thinking about that would make her heart react this way?
Dear God, I hope she's not pretending that I'm Fitz and having a mini-breakdown because of it. I don't need fate to tease me like this again.
What if-?
No. It couldn't be. I'm not going to delude myself with false promises of grandeur and hopes that will only drag me down, in the end. Sophie Elizabeth Foster is never going to fall in love with me.
I suppose it's too bad that I've already fallen in so deep that there's no hope of me swimming to shore now. I pulled her closer to me, giving myself some selfish comfort in the way her side aligned perfectly to mine.
"Hey, Foster?" I asked, not even bothering to correct myself. It gave me some pleasure in reminded myself that Sophie chose to marry me in this universe, even though I just claimed that nothing in this universe would ever happen, not in a million years. I don't deserve to call her mine, not after everything I've done.
Not after everything I've been too afraid to ever do.
"Hmm?" she asked from my side, and the squeezing in my chest is too strong to ignore.
I can't tell her how I feel just yet. I'll let myself have a few more days of pretending she's mine, that we were meant to be, before I tell her and then live in mortification for the rest of my days after she inevitably rejects me.
"Never mind," I said, smiling sadly at the wall and squeezing her a bit tighter for just a second. "You should get some rest. Doctor's orders."
"Is Elwin even a doctor though?" wondered Sophie out loud as I pulled away from her. "I think he'd prefer to be called Lord of Medicine or something like that."
I snorted a bit, not even trying to cover up my smirk. "You're pretty funny sometimes, Foster."
"Sencen," she corrected sleepily, before her head hit the pillow and she was lights out.
I refused to think about what she said for the rest of the night. It would only lead to more delusions of grandeur and false hopes.
Sophie will never like me back. In what universe would that even be a possibility?
Well. This one, I suppose.
But not in ours. Never in ours. Sophie and Fitz will be married before I even know it, and I'll spend the rest of my days watching from the side as they buy their own home with a picket fence and have tons of perfect little Fitzphie babies.
I suppose that's endgame, for Sophie. I suppose that it's sad that the only endgame I have in mind for me is Sophie, as well.
And if only one of our endgames can come true, I'll spend all of my life miserable if it makes her happy. Because Sophie deserves to be happy after everything that's happened.
And I don't deserve happiness. At least not yet. I haven't proved my worth to anyone, not even my horrible father. I'm still just Keefe Sencen, an ordinary elf with no special traits or qualities or anything.
"Stop thinking," mumbles Sophie in her dream. At least, I think she's still dreaming. "You think too much," she grumbles into her pillow. "I can hear your thoughts from here."
So she's awake then. I wonder if she can actually hear my thoughts or if she's just using another human expression before the latent panic sets in. Does she know? Has my biggest secret been revealed?
"Don't be so dramatic," she groans, her eyes still shut. "I like you too." And then she's off to Dreamland (capital D) again, probably having sweet dreams of her and Fitz in a giant mansion with pink clouds and purple skies.
Wait, did she just say-
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okay, so this chapter was shorter than usual so i apologize, i really do love leaving things off on cliffhangers don't i-
pining keefe is my aesthetic don't judge
dude that title was sO MISLEADING I SWEAR I'M A GENIUS OR SOMETHING
~anna
p.s. we might even try for three updates a month if that doesn't seem like too big an obstacle for us. you're welcome.
