Jurdan in the Mortal World

The Bemusement Park

(A/N: Hi. I hope you're enjoying the story so far. If it wasn't obvi yet, this story isn't exactly PG, like lots of stories on Wattpad, soo... it doesn't really get worse than what already happened, just lots of dirty jokes xD so beware. Thank you for sticking with me so far and vote, comment, etc. I hope you like this chapter. It'll be more exciting than chapter 'Vivi Kills Me' which was mostly a filler chapter soo...yea.)

ALSO! I have two different accounts now...(ik,ik making things hard for myself) so I'll finish this story on this account then ima switch over.

We're all crammed into Vivi's car, not taking ragwort stalks for once. Thank goodness. Heather would have a fainting spell. Vivi is in the driving seat, and in the passenger seat is our "stuff" for our day at the amusement park- sunblock, money, snacks (everyone does it), sunglasses, a camera (Heather is a freak about it), and water bottles. Heather, Oak, Cardan and I need to fit in the back. Oak refuses to sit in Heather's lap, which means...I scrub my face with my hands for what feels like the thousandth time that morning. 

              "C'mere, High Queen of Elfhame," Cardan purrs, motioning to his lap.

              "Oak, can't you please sit on Heather's lap?" I plead.

               "No. I'm a big kid now, and Heather is in a relationship." Vivi smirks from the driver's seat.

               "Can you be a big kid and sit in Heather's lap?" I beg.

               "Well..." I'm pushing him over, albeit reluctantly.

               Cardan interferes. Dammit. "Oak, don't listen to her...I can make you not the High King!" Oak immediately brightens at that and flounces over to the middle seat, which means I have to sit on Cardan's lap. Sigh. Well, I could make this harder for him.

              I intentionally sit down really hard, nearly knocking that creepy look off Cardan's face. I then proceed to basically grind on him, and I can hear his jaw clenching. I have to suppress a grin. 

               "You deserve it," I say, grinding even harder. I'm full on laughing, and Heather is shielding Oak's eyes. 

              Cardan leans down, looking like he's about to kiss me on the neck, and whispers in my ear, "You're gonna pay for this." I roll my eyes. "Ooh, so scared," I whisper back. I grab a water and am about to sit down when I notice the lump in Cardan's pants. Near his crotch. Facepalm.

               "Okay, that's it. Heather, I'm sitting on your lap, whether you're dating my sister or not." I then proceed to plop in her lap.

               "Ow! Okay, okay!" she protests, but she's laughing so hard that it's basically incoherent mumbling. Oak is looking at us as if we're crazy. Sigh.

===========================

Once we get to the amusement park, a 16-year old girl winks at Cardan, making me bare my teeth at her. I beep through the metal detector.

               "Please remove all metal items," a man drones. I wonder how  bored he'd be if he found out I was currently hiding 14 different swords and daggers in my clothing. I give a pleading look to Vivi, who fortunately takes the hint.

               "I, Vivi Duarte, hereby command you to not notice any metal-detector weirdness." I roll my eyes. My sister has the best vocab ever.

              Instantly, the man's eyes glaze over, and he perks up. "Please enjoy your time Park's Amusement Playground!" he exclaims, overly chipper.

               I grit my teeth. I don't like glamouring mortals, but I don't really have a choice this time, considering who I might run into at the amusement park. Somebody who was banned from Faerie and was never supposed to pick up another weapon. Someone who would break the rules.

              Meanwhile, Cardan is swiveling his head like an owl, desperately trying to take in the funnel cake fryer, the huge roller coaster looming in the background, and of course. The cotton candy machine.