Reclaim The Game (COMPLETED)

Chapter 15

#RTG15 Chapter 15

I had to skip another day of work. My work kept on calling me, but I needed to fix my marriage first. At kahit naman pumasok ako sa trabaho, hindi pa rin ako makakapagfocus dahil alam ko na si Sean lang ang papasok sa isip ko.

Sean was sitting quietly beside me. He looked so stressed... Ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ganito. Even when he would pull 72 hours shift, he'd still have a smile on his face... Ngayon, parang pagod na pagod lang siya sa lahat ng nangyayari—pagod sa akin.

"Thank you for agreeing," sabi ko sa kanya.

Tumingin siya sa akin. "I hope we fix this, Sob."

I nodded. "I want that, too, Sean," sagot ko. Huminga ako nang malalim. Looking at him alone hurt... Ayokong nasasaktan siya. He'd been nothing but good to me... I wanted to give him everything...

Pero paano iyong gusto ko?

I reached for his hand and squeezed it. I wanted him to know that I wanted this marriage to work as badly as he wanted it... Hindi ko alam... Maybe... Maybe I'd just give in and give him what he wanted... I hated this situation so much.

Maybe I'd love the baby... It's still Sean and me.

Mabilis kaming pumasok nang tinawag na kami. We quietly sat down and answer the introductory questions.

"Where do you see your marriage in 10 years?" the counsellor asked. Agad na tumingin si Sean sa akin. I looked at him, too.

"Living in a province near Manila... With 2 or 3 kids... Not sure if I'm still practicing by that time or maybe I already accepted Mom's proposal of just helping run the hospital," diretso niyang sagot.

"How about you, Isobel?"

I felt like there was something in my throat that I couldn't answer as quickly as I would've wanted to. Pilit akong ngumiti. "The same thing," I answered.

He suddenly stood up.

"Sean," I called.

"This is a waste of time. You're just lying," sabi niya.

"In 10 years, I see myself living with my husband in a highrise condo and I'm already a junior partner in the firm," mabilis kong sagot. I saw pain and betrayal crossed his eyes yet again. Mabilis siyang bumalik sa pagkaka-upo at tinakpan ng kamay niya ang mukha niya.

"Why... why don't you want to build a family with me?" he asked, his eyes starting to tear up—na para bang ang hirap at ang sakit na... "I love you so much, Sob... But you're hurting me so much... God, I wanted to love you but you're so selfish right now..."

Mabilis kong pinunasan iyong luha na kumawala sa mata ko. "Why am I selfish, Sean? I don't want to have a baby... I never wanted one... I married you because I love you. My only fault is that I never told you about my choice."

The counsellor tried to intrude, but Sean wouldn't let her. I just quietly sat there and let him. Mas okay na 'to kaysa hindi niya ako kinakausap. The silence would just drive us further from each other.

"Sob, that was something you should've told me!"

"If I told you that, would you still have married me?"

"Did you purposely not tell me that so that I'd still marry you?"

I dryly laughed as I wiped the tears that fell down.

"Wow," was all I had to say. "That was... that was something, Sean Denver."

I saw how he was on the verge of apologizing for his words, but those felt like his true thoughts. Mabuti na na alam ko ngayon pa lang. Sabihin niya na lahat para alam naming dalawa.