My Savior

Stuck in my head

Diana's POV

I sat on the shower floor crying, why? Well I wasn't expecting Elijah to kiss me and for me to even accept whatever we were doing, I just couldn't handle it, I'm tired of failing people close to me and because of fear of rejection I acted stupidly, I saw the hurt expression he had on before I left him standing there in my room, it was really hard for me to say those things to him, I felt hurt myself for saying does words to him, I see how things are, the feeling I had when I kissed him was something I've never experienced not even with Liam's my ex, and that feared me the most,my heart was beating so fast that I couldn't even think properly st that moment, I didn't want all this because I know he's going to get tired of me, I'm not that beautiful he can go and look for a woman that will love him, I can't do that, it's just so complicated, I'd rather have him as a close friend than a boyfriend so I know that I will feel less pain if anything happens and he decides to cut any ties with me.
I got up from the floor and got out and dried off, I walked my into the room and wore my nightgown, I layed dow close to my baby enveloping her in my arms,
"You're the only pure precious human I know would never fail me nor turn their back on me" I whispered closing my eyes as sleep overtook me.

I woke up, I wasn't in the mood to sleep because i was dreaming of him again, i sighed in frustration before checking the time,5:00am i usually woke up 30 minutes later but now I'm awake and I'm going to leave this house, I just don't want to see him, I know he's hurting because of me and I don't want to witness seeing him like that no more, I called my new nanny and told her she should be at my house 6:00 am instead of 6:30am, thankfully she had no problem with it I was going to pay her extra neither the less.
I got quickly got dressed and did the same for Amelia, I checked the time and it was 5:25 am, I sighed contented with the time i spent, I arranged the room properly making sure none of my belongings were missing.

I quickly went down stair going to the front door straight to my car, I packed all my things and left the compound of his house, I didn't look back because I knew I was going to retreat and go back there, I don't want that.

I arrived at my place and saw the babysitter sitting on the front steps tying on her phone, I got out of the car with a sleeping Amelia on my shoulder,
"Hey Mary" I said walking up to her, she was a beautiful 24 years old black girl, she was a very bright girl.
"Oh Hey Diana how are?" She asked getting up,
"I'm fine thank you, I'll show you around the house so the house and her room" I said while I opened the door.

After about 20 minutes of organizing everything fr the day I went to work.

I walked to my office seeing that I didn't have much to do today I just drew out some ideas for the fashion show that was coming up, I'm a bit nervous but very happy that I'll show the word what I have to give.

Evening came around pretty fast, I sighed getting up from my chair, I grabbed all my belongings, locked my office door and went straight to my car and drove home.
I reached my apartment and I sighed heavily, Elijah's car was parked right in front of my house, I don't want to face him right now, I just can't.

I entered my house and saw him sitting on the sofa playing with Amelia, he heard me coming in, he turned and looked at me, I can see then anger in his eyes. He got up and went up stair, I stayed silent following behind him, I went to my room to strip out of my clothes and go and shower, I wasn't even preoccupied with him and Amelia, he already put her to bed millions of times, bathed her, changed her diapers, dressed her, he was literally a pro at taking care of babies.
I took my time in the shower, real reason is dat I don't want to see him, I sighed coming out of the shower drying up, I entered my room and saw him laying on my bed with only his pajama pants, I frowned looking at him while I held on my towel,
"Elijah what are you doing?" I asked staring at him with annoyance,
"What those does it look like I'm doing" he said glaring at me before turning his attention back to the tv that was hanging on the wall, I was taking aback from what he just said, I scoffed,
"First of all watch how the fuck you talk to me, second of all this is not your house so I can throw you out whenever I want and it's my right to ask you what the fuck are you doing on my bed acting as if you're the one that ownes the house, now try again and answer again my question correctly Elijah " I said now glaring at him, he sighed getting up from the bed he shook his head,
" you know why I'm her Diana, I don't get what is happening, one moment you were in my house sleeping peacefully then the other moment you just vanished took all stuff literally everything and you want to act all casual as if something is not bothering you, do if you don't want to tell me then I might as well take my time and relax because I'm not leaving here till we talk about this " he said laying back in my bed,
"There's nothing to..."
"Yes there is Diana so say something " I just ignored him taking my shorts and t shirt and walked back to the bathroom,
I got dressed but on my bonnet and walked out of the bathroom to still see Elijah laying on my bed, I cleared my throat to get his attention,
" you seriously need to leave and I'm not about to sleep on the same bed with you" I folded my arms in irritation,
"Like i said I'm not leaving, thisis seriously childish Diana it was just a fucking kiss, I don't know why you just pushed me away like that, i would never hurt you and you damn right know I'll always protect you and Amelia I've done it from the start and I'm about to stop doing that. Just tell me what is bordering you" he said now sitting upright, I swallowed the lump I'm my thought, I watched him through my now glossy eyes, it's true, I'm overreacting, it was just a kiss nothing more, I felt embarrassed, I was acting like a high school girl that was angry that someone stole her first kiss, it wasn't it. I shook my head at my thoughts,
" I'm...I'm sorry, it's just that, I don't know I'm just a bit overreacting, I'm just afraid to..." my voice cracked, I stopped talking, I don't want him to see me like this,
" I like you very much Diana, I'm tired of hiding my feelings from you, we are adults Diana, we need to talk things out" I was taken aback from how close he was, he caressed my cheek and stared at me intensely, I sighed nodding my head,
"What are you afraid of tell me?" He said still caressing my cheeks,
"That I'll disappoint you and then you'll get tired of me" I said looking anywhere but him, then suddenly he pressed his lips on mine, I hesitated at first but then I just gave in and kissed him back, we pulled away from each other to take a breath, his face was still very close to mine,
" I think I already passed the stage where I would get tired of you, you've been with me in the same house with a child Diana, I handled the situation pretty well if you ask me, I know I won't get tired of you, it might sound do cliche but since the very first time I saw you I always thought of you, you have me a sense of peace, I love your company, i love seeing your face in the morning and when i come back from work, I love taking care of Amelia, I want you to give of a chance please, I've never had the need to have someone in my life like this" we kept eye contact as he talked his lips touched mine as he spoke, I want this as bad as he wants it, I want him too,
"I'll give us a chance Elijah" I whispered,
"Thank you I promise you won't regret it" and the he kissed me again with passion and hunger, he pulled me closed to him, his hands where touching me everywhere, I was hot, he squeezed my ass bringing closer to him, he lifted me off the floor and walked over to the bed and placed me on never breaking away from the kiss, I love his sent, it was so intoxicating, my fingers grapped his hair and pulled at it making him groan in satisfaction, he pulled away from the kiss breathing heavily staring at me intensely,
"I could get use to all this" he said kissing me one more time then layed on the other side of the bed bringing me closer to his body, he then kissed my forehead,
"Night baby" I smiled closing my eyes in delight and satisfaction,
"Goodnight Elijah"
And before we knew it we drifted away allowing this peaceful moment to take over.

HAPPY JUNETEENTH!!
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