the hating game ; lrh

thirty-one

I SIT ALONE AT our usual lunch table, using my fork to pick at the ugly mound of pasta heaped onto my tray in an attempt to somehow make it seem more appealing.

I'm not quite sure where everybody else is — Anna probably at a student council meeting, Ashton and Luke potentially at a basketball-related event, and Calum and Michael god know's where — but I don't particularly mind sitting alone at lunch. It gives me a break from the constant craziness of Calum, allowing me some time to myself, even if it is only for a little while.

When I hear the scrape of a chair beside me, I know that my serenity is going to be short-lived. I look up from my still unappealing tray, expecting to be flooded by the chatter of my brother or one of his unruly friends, but I am surprised to see a different head of blonde hair than that which I am used to sitting before me.

"Jaden," I say his name in surprise, perking up a little bit. I hadn't seen or spoken to him since the party, but it was nice to be seeing him now. "Hey."

"Hey," Jaden smiles, though seems slightly taken aback by my surprise. "I hope I'm not interrupting something?"

"Oh, no," I assure him, pushing my lunch to the side, gesturing to the tray. "Just trying to convince myself this crap won't be as bad as it looks."

Jaden laughs, his eyes wide as he, too, takes in the ugly food. "Hate to spoil the surprise, but it is," he confirms with a laugh that I return. "I did come here to ask you something, though."

"Oh, sure," I respond, leaning into my hand as I await his question.

Jaden shifts slightly, appearing somewhat uncomfortable as he begins speaking. "So, um, there's this thing next weekend," he starts, slightly avoiding my eye. "It's a basketball dinner, basically. It's really fancy, everyone gets all dressed up, and we're supposed to bring dates..."

Jaden trails off again, and I realise he is about to ask me to accompany him to the annual basketball banquet. My heart pounds as he does so, my nerves increasing. In Jaden's eyes, I have no real reason to say no to him, though I know that if I say yes, Luke will be extremely jealous. I don't want to upset either boy, but I also can't guarantee that Luke will ask me to the ball — how would he be able to disguise it? Wouldn't it be too suspicious?

"...so I was wondering if you... might want to go... with me?" Jaden finally looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes. When I don't instantly respond, he adds, "As friends! Of course."

In my heart, I know that I can't say yes to Jaden. It would be too unfair to Luke, even if he didn't intend to invite me. I would have to at least consult him first — it was the right thing to do.

"Oh, I would love to Jaden," I begin, feeling a pang of pain to my heart when he grins widely. "It's just that I'm... sort of seeing someone at the moment. It probably wouldn't be fair to him."

Jaden's face falls instantly, though he quickly recovers it and forces a smile. "Oh, no, that's okay," he assures me, nodding. "I totally get it."

"I'm really sorry," I tell him, feeling as though I've just killed a puppy. "If the circumstances were different—"

"It's seriously fine," Jaden interrupts, waving me off as though he isn't at all affected. He pushes out the chair and begins standing. "I'd better get back to the guys."

"Of course," I nod, hoping that his departure will diffuse some of the guilt that is building up inside of me. He doesn't appear angry, and I can't imagine that he would be, but knowing that I've hurt him is painful enough.

"Let me know if anything changes," Jaden says. I nod silently and he walks away, back to his table of basketball friends.

As soon as he is gone, his seat is replaced by another blonde boy. Luke slides his backpack off his shoulder and lets it fall to the ground, glancing back at where Jaden has just walked away in confusion.