the hating game ; lrh

thirty-nine

CALUM AND LUKE HELP me up the stairs, each volunteering one arm to hoist me up each step and then into my bedroom.

The only clothing I had at the hospital was the dress I had worn to the banquet which, while covered in spots of mud and dirt, had somehow managed to survive the accident and would probably be wearable after a dry clean or two. So, when I reach my room I have Calum pick out some tracksuit pants and a comfortable sweater for me to change into (while the boys aren't watching, of course). When I'm done, I climb into bed and let Calum tuck the sheets over me. He sits on the side of the bed afterward, Luke standing behind him looking considerably guilty.

"How are you feeling?" Calum asks, placing my bag of medication on the bedside table.

"I'm fine, really," I promise him, offering a smile to soften the experience. I nod to the medication. "I've got my meds."

"I know," Calum sighs, shaking his head. "You just... went through a lot."

Luke's eyes flash to the floor at the mention of the accident, his guilt increasing. I let out my own sigh this time, reaching to place a hand over Calum's. "And I'm fine," I assure him for the umpteenth time. "I have minor injuries, Cal."

Calum nods, swallowing the information and absorbing it. "I've been thinking," he lets out a small cough that somehow addresses Luke's presence. "I think I should go with you to Yale."

Behind him, Luke's face falls in disappointment, though he doesn't appear surprised or even hurt by the statement. I glance over at him, hoping to catch his eye, but he skilfully avoids contact.

"You don't even want to go to Yale," I remind Calum, shaking my head at him. I understand that he wants to look out for me, but now he is simply undermining Luke.

"I know, but I want to keep an eye on you," he explains, the unspoken words here being that he really doesn't want me to be left with Luke.

I sigh again, gripping Calum's hand tighter. "You can trust Luke," I tell him, but he simply shakes his head in denial. Luke shifts uncomfortably behind my brother, his eyes darting to the floor the moment they meet mine. "Calum. What happened... it was both of our faults."

Calum scoffs. "I don't think—-"

"Luke feels bad enough already," I interrupt, not wanting to hear another comment about how stupid Luke was to drive off a bridge. "You don't need to keep punishing him."

Calum huffs, glancing back at Luke momentarily before shaking his head for the umpteenth time. "Yale is just so far away," he begins, trailing off as he seemingly imagines all of the things that could happen to me on a two-day trip. "If something were to happen..."

This time, I reach over to Calum with both hands and squeeze him tight. I force him to look me in the eyes, following his gaze in order to catch it, and hope that they tell him to trust my words. "Nothing is going to happen to me," I promise him, squeezing his hands tighter with each word. "If something did happen, Luke would be there."

Calum doesn't appear any more calmed by this notion, only rolling his eyes in disbelief. "Yeah, well—"

"I know you think he caused the accident," I finally address the elephant in the room. Luke continues to watch on in silence from behind Calum, probably too afraid of my brother's unusual anger to speak. "But Luke saved my life. He could have left me in that car, but he didn't — he risked his life to save me."