For this chapter I recommend the song ghostin by Ariana Grande.
By the way the song Emma sings is one of the songs I recommended last chapter but as a reminder the song is called Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift.
***
I woke up from my dream, I mean nightmare. Emma isn't dead, she's next to me. She's holding my hand. I shake her awake.
"Emma!" I yell. She wakes up and smiles, I hug her. "I had the worst nightmare. You were dead, you died in a car crash." She hugs me and kisses my head as I sob.
"Em, don't worry. I'm right here, next to you, I'm holding your hand. I'm not dead. I would never be able to leave you alone." She tells me as she wipes a tear off my face.
"Oh but Emma, it felt so real. I had to go through with my first senior day, I had to live four months without you next to me. It was horrible," I manage to say through sobs.
"I'm not gone. I'm never going to leave you."
"I don't think I'm going to fall back asleep," I tell her. "Can you sing to me? Please," I beg her as she nods.
"Your little hands wrapped around my finger. And it's so quiet in the world tonight. Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming. Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming," Emma sings.
"Wait why did you sing that part twice, those weren't the right lyrics Emma."
She smiles, "I know, 'cause you're dreaming,'" she sings.
When I wake up I realize why she sang that part multiple times, she was telling me that she wasn't real, because she's actually gone. As I get up from bed I start crying. It felt so real. I actually thought she was here, but she's not. She's not. She's never coming back, I lost her forever. That's the truth, that's real, that's not a dream.
I end up just getting dressed because it's pointless to even try to fall back asleep. I don't usually dream of Emma, but when I do, it's always nightmares, I relive the car accident or I relive the moments that occurred right before her death in the hospital. This is the first one that I can call a dream and not a nightmare.
I head downstairs and I start making breakfast, I make some bacon and eggs, and of course I make my iced coffee. As I eat my breakfast I think back to the dream and how I wish it was real. It felt real, if I didn't wake up I would've kept thinking it was real. But I know that all I can do is wish it was real. But maybe a good dream is a good way to start my Monday morning, you know because usually Monday mornings suck, because well its Monday.
***
By the time lunch comes I'm horribly tired, I don't want to walk, talk, or eat, all I want to do is sleep. And because my dream woke me up early this morning at five in the morning and I didn't exactly get to bed early, I have the worst eye bags and I look terrible.
The boys both look at me like I was insane as I sit at our table, "Emily you look, um, not good," Xander tells me. "You look like you haven't slept in days, are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" I ask and he shakes his head to reply, "Exactly, so I'm not okay. Please talk about something boring so I won't miss anything important during my nap." Luckily for me lunch is an hour, which is an hour that I can hopefully get enough sleep to get me through my last two classes. "When Mack comes tell her I don't want to be bothered." I rest my head on my arms that are folded on the table, this position reminds me of the days when I was in elementary and we would play Heads Up Seven Up.
Next thing I know, I'm being shaken awake, I lift my head and see Mack, she briefly explains to me that the bell just rang, and we stand up and start heading to our last periods. I walk through the metal doors that lead me to the hallway, and I quickly go to my locker. I grab my textbooks and close my locker. I climb up the stairs and go to class, I have art. I walk in and I'm immediately greeted by my teacher Ms.Fontaine, she says hello to me and I take my seat in the middle of the class. I have always liked art, and like singing, I'm not very good at it, I've always been more of a sports kind of gal, but that never stopped me from doing artsy things.
Ms.Fontaine explains to us that we have an upcoming project, the point of the project is to draw a portrait of the person we love most. Of course we had the stupid kids in the back ask if they could draw a football, or a phone, and Ms.Fontaine pretends like that doesn't bother her but she told us that it had to be a living human. Of course this made me want to ask if that human could've been living four months ago but I left it alone, I just won't be doing Emma. She also told us that we would have three months to complete it, that's a lot of time but the reason for that is because she wants to enter the art in the county fair art contest, so she wants us to take our time, and really think about who we want to draw, paint, color, etcetera.
"There's thirty minutes left of class, please use that time to really think about who you're going to draw. I don't want you to doubt yourselves if you draw a certain person, I want you to completely believe that you love that person with all your heart." Ms.Fontaine tells us. She then grabs a marker and writes all the requirements on the whiteboard. Once she finishes writing all the rules she sits at her tiny desk and begins typing on her computer. I always wondered what teachers really did all day when we were doing worksheets or tests.
As soon as the bell rings I stand up and head over to my class of the day, study hall, I walk down the stairs and start heading over to a different building. This building has the library in it, which is where study hall is. I cross the football field and open the doors to the brick building. I look around to see if I can find Xander anywhere, because we have this class together, I see him sitting in row four and walk over to him. "Hey," I say as I take the seat next to him.
"Sup, how was art?" Xander asks me, as he pulls out what looks like his Spanish homework.
I shrug, "Fine I guess, how was- I forgot what class you had before this, was it history or P.E.," I pause and look at him, "I don't know"
"History, but I didn't learn anything because I was too busy thinking of something," he looks through his bookbag and pulls out a lead pencil, "have you ever realized that we all have nicknames none of us really go by our first names except when you're mad at Mack, or just when any of us are mad." I never even thought of this, obviously he was bored during history to really think about this, but he's not wrong. Xander's whole name is Alexander, Mack is obviously Mackenzie, and Dan is Daniel.
Once Ms.Zukomefa walks in we all quiet down and begin 'working' on our homework. I begin thinking about who I'm going to draw, I mean yeah three months is a lot of time but is it enough? Just like seventeen years is a lot of time, but did Emma have enough? The answer is plain and simple, no. It's never enough.
***
As I walk through the front doors of my house I remember that I need to grab mail so I turn around and head to our wooden mailbox. I grab all the mail inside and walk back to the house, I head straight for the kitchen, I guess missing lunch can make a person very hungry. I open the fridge and do a quick scan of what we have and decide to eat a lunchable. I grab the lunchable and take a seat at our marble island counter. I open the package and begin eating. I was going to go to the gym and practice my tumbling but my stomach was rumbling so loud it started to become embarrassing. As I finished eating I look through the mail and my jaw drops when I see this one envelope.
***
Hiiiiii:)
So how did you like this chapter? What do you think the note is? Annnnnd did you think the dream in the beginning of this chapter was real?
One more thing! The edits, I need chap. 4 and 5, so if you make edits them pleaseeeeee
Lots of love, emma<3
ESTÁ A LER
The Goodbye Note
Ficção Adolescente*COMPLETED* Ever since Emily's twin, Emma, died in a car crash, Emily has been looking for a note that Emma used her last words to tell Emily about. Emily wants to have a one more piece of her sister to hold on to, she wants one more thing to rememb...
