The Goodbye Note

Chapter 23

Song I recommend Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects. Truly awesome song to jam to with your car window down and your hair flying around.

***

Dean went home a little while ago, now it's just me and Mack. She is so hurt that I'm starting to feel hurt. And confused. Can I still hang out with Xander? Or do I need to stay away? I can probably still hang out with him just without Mack.

"But I was so confused when he broke up with me, he said I was too wild, and he said why couldn't I be calm like you. And he also said he stopped loving me. And he also said I was bossy. And he said I just wasn't the right girl for him." Mack says in one breath. She's having a mental breakdown.

I think for a while then come up with, "We should dye your hair, cut it, go shopping, and forget about Xander." I say because I'm tired of sitting here and listening to the same thing over and over again. She nods and goes to my bedroom to get clothes for the day and I follow. We aren't the same size but we both have emergency clothes at each other's houses because you never know. She puts her jeans on and pulls on her shirt.

"Can I borrow your makeup?" I nod in response. "Thank you." She does her makeup while I get dressed. "Do you think we'll ever get back together?"

"I don't know Mack," I tell her, because I really don't know. "Hair salon first or mall?"

She laughs, I don't know what's funny, "I'm hungry, bakery?"

"Mack we just ate."

"Two hours ago." I look at my phone and sure enough we did eat two hours ago. "Bakery?"

I roll my eyes and sigh, "Sure." My dad isn't going to be happy that I'm missing school but if I explain why then I don't think he'll care. Plus he loves Mack.

***

I know Dean isn't working because he's at school. But I still go to the bakery. I go through the drive thru. I already know my order and Mack chooses quickly so within minutes we're on the way to the hair salon. I love Mack's long auburn hair, but I do agree that it's time for a change.

She talks to the hairstylist for forever. She says I don't know what she's doing, so she tells me to go to the shoe shop next door so she can surprise me. I don't go to the shoe shop, I just wait in my car. Cars. After the accident I thought I would never go in a car again. I was scared, but if I didn't get in a car then I couldn't get home from the hospital. It took me a while to voluntarily get in a car, let alone drive one. It took Mack having a panic attack for me to drive. Mack gets panic attacks whenever she is stressed or cries too much, which is why I told her to stay this morning. But during summer, both of my parents were out of town. I told Mack to call me if she ever had a panic attack so I could talk her through it. She called me because she had a flight tire. She needed me. I drove a car twenty minutes and stayed on the phone the whole time. Once I got there she was curled into a ball crying. She said I helped her. She was the reason I ever drove again.

I sit in my car and wait. And wait. But I don't really mind, sitting in silence helps me. It lets me run through my thoughts and just gives me time to release stress.

I'm in the car for at least two hours when Mack walks out. I don't recognize her right away. She cut her hair to her shoulders and it's strawberry blonde. Oh my gosh! It actually doesn't look bad. It looks really good. She walks to the passenger side, and gets in. "Do you like it?"

"I love it. Mack it looks really good. Now, mall?"

"Let's do this!"

***

Mack is insane. She doesn't care that she just dyed her hair and got her nails done. She wants to surf. I don't argue because I just want to forget about everything, and forgetting everything is easy when I'm surfing with Mack. We quickly stopped at her house so she could grab her bathing suit and her surfboard. Then we quickly stop at mine, then we're off at the beach.

"Em?"

"Mhm." I say looking at her for a second then putting my eyes back on the road.

"I'm not trying to sound rude or anything, but if you are scared of a lot of things, then why do you like surfing?" Mack asks me. Honestly if I were her and she was me I would wonder the same thing. I'm literally a chicken but when it comes to surfing I just forget about being scared.

"I grew up surfing. And I guess when I surfed I felt fearless, like Emma but in the water. I wanted people to think that just because I was scared of a few things didn't mean I was scared of everything. And I just kept surfing. At first I was addicted. Addicted because I wanted to be good at something. I didn't want people to see me as the twin who was a baby. I wanted to be the twin that was known by name instead of 'Emma's twin.' And I guess I've been surfing ever since." I tell her.

She wipes her face and pretends like she is crying, "That was such an inspirational story."

I stick my tongue out at her, "Whatever."

We both laugh until we pull up at the beach. We see it at the same time.

Xander's car.

"Do you want to leave?" I ask her, "I know other surf spots, we could hit one of them."

"No it's fine. You and I found this spot years ago, so we have every right to be here." I nod my head at this and park the car in the corner spot. We both head to the restroom to change. Once we're done we get out boards from the car. "Em, you can talk to him, I don't care if you do. I mean you two were friends before I even knew you." I answer okay and we make our way to the water.

This is going to be fun.

***

This chapter is kind of short, sorry about that. But anyways, this chapter is important because don't all girls go through some kind of mental breakdown while they're a teenager. I know I have. It's just part of the teenage dream. Well see you next chapter!

Lots of love, emma<3